Rubbing off the chalk
31 January 2024
I run down
steep memory lane
It eases
fleeting pain
I gather insight within
statement paper thin
Life’s path
etched in white drawings
shining through
clouds’ clearings
my inner sight piercing blue
shadows on snow white
I will walk
concentric circles
setting truth
where lies talk
overcoming the hurdles
rubbing off the chalk
Reading of the poem:
Messiah Project – Error Maya Life Goes On
They run through rivers
23 March 2020
Did you feel
My waking anthem?
It speaks not
It fears not
It crawls alive down mountains
Measured in sentence
The wet tides
They crave beaten shores
Where I dance
Unison
Downtrodden path of danger
The will a stranger
I heed not
The hushed countenance
The words packed
In bosom
Now descending in quivers
They run through rivers
Reading of the poem:
Hush now don’t explain – Billie Holiday
Missing steps
18 February 2020
Wandering
The mind follows bends
Of pathways
Yesterday
A walk in Netherland stride
Reckoning of wild
Wavering
Consciousness between
Allowed hues
Disowned blues
A patchwork of dreams
Uncovering streams
Plundering
In waves comes the greed
From the depths
Missing steps
The soul recovering sheen
Of forgotten spleen
Reading of the poem:
Over The Ocean – I Will Be Silent
The Devil you know
26 December 2019
She looked around her taking in the leaves in the small pots and the small budding white flowers growing slowly in between. This was not exactly what she had expected when she had emerged from her sleep like state. She knew this would be temporary, however, so she was not too worried about it. The flat was neat and sparsely decorated. It was a far cry from the wilderness she was used to or the luxurious surroundings she had dwelt in on occasion, but this would do for now. She wondered how her twin was living and whether he had awoken too from the sleep like state that he must have been in too. This was not the first time that she would be awake before him though, so she did not dwell too much on this thought nor did she attempt connecting with him. She would have time to do that later.
The last time she had awoken before him it had not been a good age. The world had been in patriarchy mode and her ways of the old did not seem suited to the times. She remembered with some displeasure the difficulties of that era and the near helplessness she had experienced where her physical body had not only been a point of weakness, but an actual hindrance given the limited freedom that women had then. She had travelled long and far to reach the area where recounts of her twin had emerged. She knew quite well by then the tell-tale signs: The fantastic tales, the miracles, the huge gathering of followers and the automatic unrest that accompanied this within the rulers of that time. Every time her twin had manifested on Earth, whether it was in Mesopotamia or Ancient Egypt or the land of the two seas, he could not help but provoke the established order and create problems for both of them.
In comparison her methods had always been more discreet, working within the shadows, mostly with the female population, never basking in the light. There were always two sides to a story like there were two ways of approaching matters and hers had always been the way of the silent stream that slowly erodes the foundations of mighty dwellings rather than the direct towering waters that her twin had always loved to raise against the norms of each era. Well she thought to herself, the last time had not gone so well for him and even their father-mother source had not saved him from the trouble he had got them into. As a female with child, she had been spared and did not go through the fate her twin underwent. In fact, barely anyone noticed her contribution to the upheaval of that era and she did not even figure in any historical recounts or barely as a side figure, an afterthought and mostly in a negative light. It was always her twin who was in the limelight and she realised that he might as well given how he loved it while she preferred the shadows.
The keepers of the secrets of the Source had sent them as messengers, each in their own way allowing humans to discover themselves, to allow them to delve into their light as well as their shadows until they could realise that neither was more worthwhile. The idea was for them to allow humans to understand that each being or inanimate object was just a manifestation of the flux that emanated from the Source, that both light and dark were just different perceptions of the same energy that encompassed all and permeated from within everything. She naturally identified with the female side of humans as her star soul was the moon and had therefore chosen the shadows. Her twin had chosen to represent the light and he had gotten so infatuated with it that he no longer remembered at every human manifestation that he was only partly light. She on the other hand had never been dazzled neither with the light nor with the shadows and remembered that their original mission was to allow this Universe to achieve balance. In every era she had incarnated within, she made it a point to achieve that and in the age of patriarchy, this had mainly become a work linked with liberating women from their bondage whether internal or forced upon them externally. Wherever she went, the liberation of women ensued whether slowly and steadily or in outbursts.
It pained her to think that this play of light and dark had made human beings reach incredible levels of hate and bigotry and that the rules that the source had enacted within the minds of the initial messengers had all been diverted into rigid and ridiculous sets of dogma that allowed humans to fight and kill each other in all impunity. She was not very fond of bloodshed, not even when she knew that it was sometimes necessary to rejuvenate the planet they were on and allow for the recycling of those souls which had gotten too dense to allow the others to progress. She was of a playful nature in general and had found it very funny to diffuse in the minds of humans a representation of the world of shadows. Owing to the way patriarchy had been dominant in the world, however, this representation took on a male nature rather than a female one and with the fertile imagination of humans, it became a monstrous figure with horns and hooves, something between an animal and a human being.
She looked at herself in the mirror and laughed at the thought of it. According to humans, the one who lurked in the world of shadows was a wicked being called the devil and he had a pointy tail, cloven hooves, wild looking horns and terribly pointy teeth. Above all he was supposed to tower over human beings and roast them with the fires of a place humans had fearfully invented and named hell. At the opposite side of that, there was supposedly a place where all souls that had been redeemed would be taken if they submitted to and worshipped their saviour, her light-loving twin. The humans had lovingly named that place heaven and each of them had their own personal idea of how beautiful this place would be although for most, it was likened to a garden with everlasting bounties. She laughed at the thought of this childish inclination but then sighed at the thought of the task that awaited. Perhaps she should have incarnated into something more akin to what they were expecting so she could be more convincing in her task. After all, better the Devil you know…
Return to Outremer – Irfan
The unknown facets
26 September 2018
Life’s mysteries form
A pleat within destiny
Traces of camphor
Neatly tucked away
Remembrance a robe of light
My nostrils inflamed
Repeated chipping
Eye discovers in the seams
The unknown facets
Reading of the poem:
Familiar – Agnes Obel
Shedding leaves
25-26 August 2018
She walked through the swarming streets heading towards the beachfront. She smiled at the woman who crossed her path and touched her outstretched hands that were offering her a garland of jasmine woven with small roses. She took the garland and put it around her neck as her hair was too short to weave it in there. She paid the woman, smiled and moved on as the woman waved at her smilingly.
The sun was high in the sky but the sea remained grey as usual. She had wondered when she had first arrived at the seaside why the sea was always grey but had got used to it. It seemed like it had to blend with the darker colour of the rocks on the seaside. She thought back to the beautiful sparkling beaches in North Africa and wondered whether it was the pollution here that made the sea turn grey close to the coast.
She sat on a rock overlooking the beach and stared at the sea. The waves were making a gentle lulling sound interrupted from time to time by the shrieks of children jumping into the water. It was a joyous sight but somehow she could not help her heart feeling heavy. She could not get over the feeling that something had completely stirred out of control in her destiny, changing her future, and that it was not by chance. Barely a year and a half had gone by but it seemed like it was light years away.
Back home to keep the memories of those moments of the future she had glimpsed she had resorted to collecting falling leaves in which she mentally inscribed glimpses of that future. Over time, the future she had seen seemed to be slowly fading into oblivion and she would then take out the leaves to remember. Each leaf reminded her vividly of a place in time where she had been in thought and where she had lived an incredible adventure filled with love and happiness.
Her right hand felt for the small basket that was tucked inside her handbag. It was still there and she sighed a sigh of relief. She wondered how it could be so small and hold so much at the same time. She got up from the rock and resumed her walk but towards the canal this time. It was one of the rare places in the city where stagnant water was not necessarily a synonym of stench and rot. At some points it even looked beautiful with profuse vegetation and a small bridge-like construction.
The water was a sombre green. She walked to the bridge, looked over the edge of it and slowly emptied the small basket. The leaves fell into the water and swirled away with the current caused by the wind. She watched until they were out of sight and felt as though her heart were leaving with those swirling leaves. Yet she knew that she could not hold on to the leaves as a totem anymore. They had to disappear for what they represented to reappear.
Those moments of the lost future she had lived had to be reintegrated within her. They belonged to her and had to be a part of her again, not relegated to the role of externalised memories. Her heart warmed slowly with the returning memories that filled her being with love. It was as if the release of the leaves had opened a dam within her. The images cascaded in her mind like a whirlpool of sunny water as they filled her neurons. Tears of joy streamed down her face and wiping them she lifted her head and smiled up at the skies. It did not matter anymore that it had been steered away for it existed out there. It was forever hers.
Winter Aid – The Wisp Sings
End of my Journey
5 May 2017
Brotherhood
Once raised to do good
Cloaked in hood
Wed the wood
Branded fellows cattle food
Goal misunderstood
The resolve
Of star bred absolve
Problems solve
Winds revolve
Magnitudes where they devolve
Humans to evolve
Destiny
Oracles that see
History
Law of Three
Wade in waters to the knee
End of my Journey
Reading of the poem:
Brotherhood – John Dreamer
Becoming a Legend – John Dreamer
True Strength – John Dreamer
Rise Extended – John Dreamer
It’s Time – John Dreamer
End of my Journey – John Dreamer
The Cleopatra Tales 1: Divine Union – Hieros Gamos
Within Grace
4 March 2016
Bound by oath
Made in code and blood
Knights will join
Tooth and loin
Though it is the mighty Queen
Who leads King’s battle
Salt for Toth
Sugar for the bees
I pray strong
Though on knees
My sight restored to Unseen
A snake with rattle
Heart in peace
Discovering wills
I float through
Noah’s ark
It rekindles in me spark
Of destiny’s spear
We lead crowd
Bonded in fever
They shout loud
Voices hoarse
Blind eyes decoding the Morse
As I type haggard
We strip folds
From unseeing eyes
Waking up
Seeing lies
They discover land of Oz
Broken the wizard
The King walks
His pace a slow move
While the Queen
Unhindered
Flies high through the battle cries
Sacrifice her groove
Openings
Entrenched in our souls
They beckon
To the grapes
High above the wilting shapes
Of trees in the wind
Holocaust
Burning apple trees
Violins
Aching wood
Empty stomachs yearning food
Beating above dins
Dance to beat
Live die and repeat
Past blunders
Wane thunders
Warning chimes as thief plunders
Plucking from bosoms
Hearts turn cold
This was not the fate
We wrote once
With bright pens
The worthy cooped up in dens
Waiting for lions
Blue craters
They await the sane
Lost haters
Smothered dust
Dissolves into fading rust
Of forgotten steel
She will come
From bowels of Earth
She ignites
My hands gifts
Blue heart throbbing as she lifts
My frame into skies
I am two
Between me and you
I hover
Within Grace
She turns towards me her face
Sunken eyes teardrops
Reading of the poem:
Window to your soul – Delerium
Dark Star – Delerium
Koran – Delerium
Silence – Delerium
Fallen – Delerium
Flatlands – Delerium
Playing with the light
19 February 2016
We hold flames
With our naked hands
Worded hope
Destiny
They warm our frames or scorch them
One matter twin views
A beacon
To follow the strands
Of Phoenix
Purity
We gather feathers fallen
As the bird renews
Reckoning
From future displayed
Understand
Glorious past
Misconception a new trend
Gathered momentum
Hold my hand
Feel the energy
My lifeline
Crosses heart
Let me infuse you sweetness
Before I depart
I fear not
We shall travel safe
Hearts in peace
Minds at ease
Swift and soft like summer breeze
Entering morrows
Golden sands
Speak of timeless age
Gone the rage
Only love
Look and see the weeping dove
She cries for freedom
Addendum
Wistful points declared
Afterthought
In hindsight
As the mind and soul connect
Playing with the light
Reading of the poem:
New reading trial with music:
With you I never lose – Athlete
Hurricane – Athlete
Half-light – Athlete
Near light – Olafur Arnalds
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