Seek me in the rivers that flow stark
I have given in to the tides that all embrace
yielding into the deltas that claim more
that demand from all the very core
I will gaze upon the sun unflinching
the memories of you lying intact
unravelling in a world we never touch
as I watch your dark wings glowing
Laying on a bed of flowers exhaling
scent of jasmine, rose and moonflowers
I am one with my other face hidden
deep into the water it slowly grows
What is you has now become me, us
and what I am I know exists no more
yet I explore the emptiness of your face
translucent, aglow, it escapes physicality
I look beyond the life we never had
beyond stolen instances of nighttime
into the compressed breaths taken
to construe a world beyond the world
We will sing sweet and soft lullabies
to the unborn children we raised
in our mind’s eye they roam playgrounds
sitting in the recesses of my bosom
We keep and weep within my bosom
withered like an old nun’s gait
it speaks of unraveled moments
In Time we will see them flourish
Reading of the poem:
Fed with constant realities
their idle waves of intent
breaking through my fears
I bear fruit to a sullen morrow
I fixate beyond the edge of myself
on the anticipated remembrance
of the snow-white place in me
where I fail to see you no more
Your face grows stark and steady
In a solitary place I keep hidden
between collar bone and chest
bubbling with the residue of unrest
My brain will build tall citadels
where your name will reiterate
like a broken disk hitting my skull
one dull thud after another drops
There are fleeting looks encircled
by the morosity of frozen cheeks
They bask in the sunlit shadows
born to the eye that blinks never
Tomorrow I will bear no weight
Like a maiden before her sunset
I will tear away my shaking limbs
in offering to the beasts that pray
Reading of the poem:
The woods’ outline was cool and comforting against the blue skies in the scorching heat that she could feel rise to a peak level again. She moved swiftly towards it and gladly delved into the first cluster of roots and leaves that lay at the outskirts of the woods. Her skin feverishly welcomed the dew that fell off the leaves onto her arms. She stooped further as a heavy branch hid the way to the inside of the woods and crossing underneath it reached a small clearing.
The air was filled with the smell of moss growing all around under the trees. The smell of it felt like heaven to her after her time in the city. There was also a strong smell of burnt wood and she wondered where it came from. She ventured further into the woods following the smell of the burnt wood until she arrived to another clearing and found a tree that had been split into two, visibly struck by lightning, the two sides charred and fallen to the ground. The center of the tree was still fuming a bit and she could sense humming all around it.
She looked around and saw a swarm of bees all around the neighbouring trees. She wondered whether they had been in the tree before it had been burnt down. She was a little apprehensive on whether the bees would attack her as they seemed quite restless but they only circled around her and never dived upon her to sting her. The way they were hovering around, they seemed to be dancing and she found that quite odd. Suddenly they stopped their movement and after a few seconds they flew in group towards a spot at the end of the clearing.
She ran after the bees, eager to see what had drawn them there. In the distance she could see lights flickering. She wondered if there were people in the woods out here like her to escape the heat of the city. She hid behind one of the trees near the end of the clearing and watched intently as the lights drew closer. She realised that the lights were coming over a stretch of water that started at the end of the clearing. She looked further and found out that it was actually a large river. The lights came over the edge of the river and stopped on the river bank.
She came out of her hiding place behind the trees and stared curiously at the lights. There seemed to be nothing holding them up there, not even an insect. She reached out to the lights and could feel a tingling feeling at the tip of her fingers. The river bank softly gave way under her feet and she seemed to be sinking as she could no longer feel the earth underneath. At the same time, the lights seemed to move closer to her or perhaps she was moving closer to hem. She could feel their warmth as they engulfed her…
She looked out of the window at a blue sky full of fluffy clouds. Ironically the clouds reminded her of how the memories of him were slowly fading. She had known him once with utmost certainty but now she was not sure anymore. She thought back to their first encounter. Not the one she remembered consciously but the one that had been at the back of her mind when they had met fleetingly on the small strip before the beach. When she had glanced at him then and her eyes had met his she had known deep in her heart that it was him but the thought had been so preposterous that she had had to brush it aside, grit her teeth and walk on. She had then seen him go into a sports car that was parked on that strip.
For years the memory had haunted her. The thought that she had walked beside the love of her life and not had the courage to take a chance and speak to him had weighed her down for years. Then he had reappeared in her life. First in a ghost-like form with no words said but for the evanescent image of him. Then with increasing precision in the form to which was added a telepathic communication. She wondered whether he was aware at all of this or if she was the only one seeing and hearing him. His spirit-like presence then became a daily routine in her life but left her with the ache of not having him around in flesh and blood.
She turned back from the window and glanced around the room which was submerged in pale light coming from the one window that was open. The room reeked of wasted memories and unshed tears. She wished she could turn back time and go back to that moment to see if she could change the course of fate but she knew it was not possible here and now. It reassured her to think that there was a version out there in the Multiverse where she had taken that risk and was perhaps growing old with the love of her life. He whispered in her head that he would come to her Time and Time again when the elements were favourable. It reassured her even more to think that maybe serendipity would put them both on the same path again. In Time. She smiled a wane smile before the tears finally welled in her eyes. Someday…Somewhere…In Time…
