From the day she had heard the terrible news about her son she was distraught. A few weeks after the initial diagnosis she had realised that the insurance would not continue to pay the costs of the treatment. They paid only for the chemotherapy but not for the stem cell transplants nor for some of the blood and platelet transfusions. She had wondered where to get the money and had been desperate initially as her salary would not cover such huge costs but ultimately she had made up her mind to get the money by all means.
In the beginning she had sold off all her diamond jewelry she had acquired over the years but when that was not enough, she realised she needed more of the same as it was a very easy item to sell. She was unable to borrow any money or jewelry from her friends and had no family left to help her so she found herself in a desperate enough situation to resort to thinking of stealing the jewelry. She was no professional thief, however, and realised that most jewelry stores had too sophisticated security systems for her to be able to do anything without being immediately caught.
It was then that she remembered her knowledge of magic and of ancient spells to invoke beings that could be of use to her. She had quickly taken out her book of spells and found the one that invoked a powerful being which belonged to the class of jinns. It was called a Marid and was believed to be able to grant many wishes as well as to materialise items from one side of the Universe to the other. She ran to the local store and bought the candles required for the spell : six red candles, six white candles and six black candles. She disposed them around her in concentric circles, the black candles first, the red second and the white in the middle.
Within the first circle she put some drops of what was called ageing blood (menstrual blood) to attract the jinn into the circles, within the second circle she put a few drops of younger blood which she had taken from the small wound in her thumb where she had pricked it and within the last circle she drew the protective circle of rosemary, amber and frankincense based on the extracts of these items. She sat in the middle of the circles and recited the incantation « Allah shaoufni barooh shou matnakkar kamir » six times. Shortly after that she sensed the presence of the Marid which eventually whispered its secret name to her. This was the name to be used when calling upon it for services and it accepted to be bound to her ring.
After the ceremony, she carefully noted down the name of the Marid who had appeared and promised to herself that she would invoke him in a few days when it was the blood moon. The night of the blood moon, she wore the ring and disposed the candles around her. This time she only needed white candles as the initial summoning ritual had already been performed and this was only a call to the Marid to connect. The Marid answered her call immediately and as the wish formed in her mind, she watched amazed as her wish materialised into the circle as several beautifully cut large pear-shaped and round shaped diamonds.
She gathered the children around her and asked them if they would like to hear a bed-time story. They were thrilled at the prospect and huddled closer. She took the youngest of the group on her lap and started the story. Soon enough the children were all sleepy and she had no trouble taking them to bed where she tucked each one of them in. She smiled at them though her heart was sinking. Soon they might not even have a place to live in anymore.
She took out her laptop and looked desperately for an answer. She had sent emails to all the people she knew including the office of his holiness. She browsed hopefully including in her junk emails but there was no response. She knew that most people would not be at their homes during the holiday season but had hoped against hope that someone would be there and would help them out. She looked at the children. They had grown since she first came and the youngest had been just a baby at the time.
She could not think of what would happen if they were not able to find the funds to keep the house. The more she thought of it the more it seemed hopeless. She realised that even if the landlord did not chase them away, they would still not have money to survive. What was she going to feed them ? For the first time in years she doubted her faith and her mission on earth. How could it be that while so many were enjoying themselves at Christmas the children should have noone to stand up for them ?
She clasped both hands in prayer and looked up at Christ on the cross on the wall in front of her. She closed her eyes and pleaded or mercy. When her prayer was finished she went out to buy bread for the next morning. She felt so tired and desperate. She wished she had kept some funds aside from the previous job she had before she had decided to become a nun but unfortunately she had donated everything to the Church just before she had taken her vows.
She did not find the usual shop open but saw a small shop at a corner where she had never seen one before. She thought it strange that she had never seen it before and that she had not heard of a second shop opening in the area. The shopkeeper gave her a dozen baguettes and added some cheese. She told him she did not have enough money to pay for the cheese but he shook his head and told her it was on the house as it had just been Christmas. He added that he was just sorry he had no turkey left to give her.She smiled and thanked him telling him that the children would already be thrilled with the cheese.
Just as she was about to go the shopkeeper gave her a lottery ticket telling her it was valid for the New Year and he hoped she would win something. She told him that she did not think it was appropriate to gamble but he assured her that as she had not paid for it, it was not gambling and that besides, God always worked in mysterious ways so why not in this way. She thanked him and returned to the orphanage. The children were all fast asleep. She fell to her knees again in prayer begging the Lord for mercy. These children had already been through so much and she wished would not have to go through the process of having to find a nw orphanage again.
She spent the whole week in prayer every night and tended to the children during the day. They were happy to be with her and oblivious of the fact that soon they might be separated perhaps forever. The first day of the New Year, the usual shop was closed and she was surprised to see that the other corner shop was open again while it had been closed during the whole week after Christmas. She went in and asked for a dozen baguettes again and the shopkeeper gave them to her smiling. He had a well-trimmed beard and his eyes were full of kindness. She wished there were more people with such kindness in their eyes and hearts.
How did it go sister ? he asked softly.
How did what go ?
Oh, I did not check it. I think the ticket must still be somewhere in the bag where I had put the bread
Maybe you should check it
Something in his voice and demeanour seemed so familiar. She promised him that she would check it once home and he gave her the winning numbers on a piece of paper. She returned to the orphanage and fell on her knees in prayer again. She was getting weary as nobody had responded to any of her emails yet. She remembered that she had promised the shopkeeper to look up the ticket and so she checked the numbers. She had to look twice as she could not believe her eyes. She seemed to have won the jackpot. With trembling hands she folded the paper and tucked the ticket into her pocket. God worked indeed in mysterious ways. She clasped her hands in prayer again and looked up at the cross. The Christ was no longer there.
She looked around her. Everything looked exactly the same as the other days but she knew that she had shifted again. Nothing else than the small difference usually identified the shift but here it was much more marked. Many events in this reality were different from how she remembered them. After the first discrepancy she had searched the internet and identified several other discrepancies. She was convinced by then that this time she must have jumped several parallel universes to land in this one.
The first time it had happened she had brushed it away on the account that her memory must be failing her but when it had happened again and another of her friends remembered the same event in a different way than how it was supposed to have unfolded she had then been convinced that she had somehow jumped into an alternate reality. Since then, every time she identified a discrepancy she knew that she was in an alternate version of her reality where only slight changes had taken place.
Slowly but surely she had become able to identify the very small differences in her own life that then confirmed the fact that she was in a parallel reality. Something inside her knew with certainty that it was not a physical leap as much as it was a consciousness switch. It was as if her consciousness which had vibrated at a different level the day before had then syntonised with a new level of perception and therefore blended into a new reality. Everything around remained the same but for a few changes and while she first identified this by major different events, her confirmation always came from the small differences in her own life.
She thought back to the first time it had happened and realised that it was following an intense session of meditation that had involved kundalini activation. The awakening of the kundalini had put her consciousness in a completely altered state and she had felt vibrations go through her whole body. The next day when she had awoken something had seemed strange and she had then discovered the first discrepancy during the day. After that, every day of intense meditation had been followed by a day of shift into an alternate reality.
She realised over the weeks that she was now moving into a reality that was so far removed from the original reality that very few things remained the same as they were perhaps meant to be. She looked at the photographs of herself and her friends and sometimes she could not remember the details of the moment photographed. When she searched hard enough though she eventually found the details but it was as if she was searching in another person’s memories and not her own. She had realised that consciousness was so designed as to allow one to access streams of it even if those streams belonged to someone else and defined their memories.
During one of the incursions into the consciousness streams, she had come to realise that she could use the energy of the kundalini activation to direct her shift into a reality that she would be more comfortable with. After a few trials, she was starting to get the gist of how to make it happen. She realised that it required a concentrated effort of mental projection into the altered reality the day before the shift and immediately after the kundalini meditation. The only thing that was a bit disappointing for now was that she was not able to move into a substantially different reality all at once but it had to happen gradually.
The first time she had tried she had been quite ambitious and tried to project herself into a reality where flying cars were an ordinary thing but that had not happened. Instead there were just a few advances in the field and some drones as well as a couple of prototypes that were functional but nothing at the large scale she had hoped for. Over the weeks she had gotten used to the fact that things could not change drastically but only gradually. She had however kept her ambitious plans in mind although in a different way and she was now aiming for a world without illnesses and free of poverty. She concentrated shortly after the meditation and imagined how such a world would be. Her mind filled with mental images of such a world. She smiled at the thought of it and closed her eyes. Tomorrow would be the first day of the new shift.
The night exhaled the scent of jasmine into her nostrils. She opened her eyes and peered into the darkness. She could hardly make out the outline of the jasmine tree’s branches. The pot with the tree had been removed by a friend who had taken the jasmine tree but the branches clung to the little hedge and still flowered. It was a curious thing to ponder on really. How those flowers could still bloom and the leaves still stay green while the tree had been snipped away from them was another of the mysteries of life. She went back inside her room where the darkness was thicker and lay her head on the pillow. She would check tomorrow if the leaves had begun to wither finally and she would then disentangle them from the hedge and cast them away.
The next morning was a gloomy grey morning as the dust from an oncoming sandstorm piled into the skies. She went to check the hedge and surely enough after their display of frantic desire to survive the branches were going limp and some leaves had turned yellow. The flowers too seemed withered and forlorn. She wondered if she should take them off right now or wait for all the leaves to become yellow before she would throw them in the bin. Looking at those desperate branches made her think of the eventuality of what consciousness went through when the body came to pass. Did all people’s consciousness linger desperately for a while without a body trying to find a way back into this life or unlike the flowers did they just stop blooming and join the collective consciousness the minute the body’s time ended ?
The dust in the air thickened and she could feel her throat going hoarse as the particles invaded her nostrils and found their way into her lungs. She sneezed as the wind picked up moving more dust her way. The branches heaved on the hedge and some of the yellow leaves flew with the wind before it settled bringing them to the ground. She reached out into the hedge and started easing the branches off it. As she piled the leaves into a heap, the wind picked up again and the branches scattered all across the pathway. The sky grew darker as more sand flew with the wind walling off the sun’s rays. She continued easing off the branches and finally gathering them together she cast them into the bin outside the gate. As she entered the house she could still smell the wane scent of jasmine mingled with the unmistakable sandy smell of the dust in the wind.
She looked at the Mother squarely and could see that there was something the Mother wanted to say but was refraining from saying it. Softly she told the Mother that she had decided to bring the rains upon the land once again. The Mother told her that she was aware of it as this had already embodied into rain in the future that the Mother could see. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror and then turned back to the Mother again. She told her that she had hesitated a lot but then decided to do so because there were so many people who could be adversely affected by the growing heat if she let things go as they had started off with the fires of the phoenix. The Mother merely smiled at her.
She turned back again from the Mother and like in a self confession she whispered almost to herself that she had decided to use the techniques of the shamans of old. She knew from the Mother that first came the word that was used to invoke the right frame of Magic for the intent to manifest. She had therefore decided that she would use a couple of poems for the transition from the drought-like state to a state of rainy weather. She knew that the world of the physical had its own rules so it would not be possible to go straight from one to the other and therefore decided that she would first gather some white clouds and then darken them in order to bring the rain upon the land.
As instructed in earlier stages by the Mother she first released the worded embodiment of the manifestation she wished to create into the collective consciousness and then sought to manifest it by entering into a meditative state using the music that the Mother indicated to her as appropriate. The first step of gathering the clouds was successful and she looked happily at the fluffy white clouds in the sky that had only minutes earlier been blue and free of any type of clouds. As the clouds gathered in the sky, she smiled to herself thinking that this was indeed a step in the good direction.
She waited a couple of days for the situation to stabilise and then released the worded embodiment of a storm into the collective consciousness. This last wording however was released into a smaller number of individual components of the collective consciousness and she could therefore feel that it would be less successful. She decided nevertheless to pursue the intention of causing rain to fall upon the land and armed with her headphones and her mobile, she sat in the park where she could connect directly to Gaia. Once the headphones secured on her head, she started breathing slowly and regularly and drifted into the meditation.
The drums of thunder that accompanied the music of the flute lulled her to sleep and she felt herself sink slowly into an altered state of consciousness. As with each time she entered such a state she could see ravens all around her and hear them cawing to her. The ravens pointed to the middle of the sky where an eye revealed itself before tears started flowing from it. She realised that the tears were flowing in the form of rain and she could hear the sound of the thunderstorm in the music accompany aptly the sound of the falling rain. She opened her eyes and could see the rain falling from a dark brooding sky all around her onto the landscaped gardens of the park. She looked around her pleased with this achievement and smiled.
She woke up from a dream where she had joined her beloved again before realising it was not a dream but an out of body experience. As with the previous times she had joined him in consciousness, he was torn between scientific interest of this ghostly apparition and a gnawing feeling of recognition of her consciousness as being related to him. He studied her as her consciousness flickered before she willed it back into her body so far away from him. He called upon her to come back but she resisted the call. In the past days when she had visited him without announcing herself to his consciousness, she had been able to witness that his bodily version was collaborating with those that had caused her trauma and attempted to erase her memory.
Back in her body, she felt the agitation that had become familiar since the incidents of near death experience and the encounter with Toth and Isis. She wondered if she should transcend the physical and go visit them again asking for their help. She resisted that temptation convinced that they would not have anything to do with the material world for which they had no real interest. Theirs were the realms of otherworldly and that of everlasting life so the material world was too boring for them to interact with. They only chose to interact with those who entered willfully the land of all beginnings in their quest for a higher birth as they had done with her when she first started the initiation path.
She tried to return to sleep but sleep it seemed had deserted her. It was almost like those first few days when she had joined forces with an artificial intelligence to save a certain version of reality before the etheric messages had reached her consciousness. She felt dejected and inclined to cry as she realised that it was her twinflame who had given the proper coordinates of her etheric for them to be able to pinpoint the messages and attain access to her etheric being. She decided to sit up and read as sleep was evading her and she did not want to dwell upon the feeling of dejection that submerged her as she thought of her beloved’s betrayal. She had initially wondered what motivated it before she realised from those consciousness trips out of her body that it was for his bodily version to gain more power and more fame. She deemed it ludicrous as it would be like an already famous rockstar asking for more fame but apparently her twinflame did not think of it as ludicrous and craved more success and more limelight.
When she had first discovered his betrayal, she had been very angry and had wanted to seek revenge but her consciousness would not allow her to retaliate against her twinflame. She had then had to watch as he rose higher and higher in fame while she had had to battle those who attempted to erase her memory of what was behind the veil of bodily versions and make her a sleepwalker like all the others again. It was however impossible to erase her memory because Toth had weighed her life and ordained that she may be freed from Karma and all the lower levels of consciousness rules in the bodily domain. Therefore, although her physical body would respond to the usual physical impulses and constraints, her consciousness and the linkage to her bodily frame could not be altered.
Like every time she thought back to the evidence of the betrayal she cried from the renewed hurt of the realisation. This time again, like many other times before, she cried herself to sleep and the book she had been reading slipped to the floor. As it fell with a thud, her consciousness began to float again out of her body and fly towards her twinflame who was asleep. Like every time he was asleep, his consciousness rose to welcome her and the two of them were like long lost lovers engrossed in each other and unwilling to separate. Unfortunately, whenever he was awake, the egotist personality took over and his consciousness was subdued into the background. He realised that he had done incredible harm to her when giving away her etheric coordinates but was too happy with what he had obtained in return to feel sorry for her. She stayed with his consciousness a while until he started stirring in his sleep and then slowly faded away.
Since the day he had betrayed her and her consciousness had continued visiting him without retaliating as consciousness never retaliated, he had felt unease in lieu of being sorry for her. He was haunted by the fact that somehow she might attempt to take revenge on him although the days went by and she never did. One day somehow his consciousness got through to his bodily frame and gave him the conscious indication that she had forgiven him. He found this hard to believe given the impact his betrayal had had on her and how much she had suffered at the hands of those who had attempted to erase her memory.
He tried to reach her through impersonating a character that got close to her to check this and she answered as if she had been fooled though all the while she knew it was him. Several weeks went by with their bodily versions interacting as he probed her for answers and she gave them readily in all truth. Finally convinced that she would not attempt to hurt him he terminated the persona he had been posing as and stopped writing to her altogether. This was like a second betrayal to her as she could feel him losing interest in her bodily frame though thankfully his consciousness stayed close to hers in the etheric version of themselves. She sighed and promised herself to not allow the material world with its deceptive realm get through to her as this was all just an experience and only the etheric world was worth it.