He
24 December
He
Lit me
Inner Fire
Within the flames
Breath of the waters
The vapours shining light
Luminous condensed unreal
A point crystallised in the Heart
Within shades of morrows certainty
There where I would once again be free
Where fire and water played silently
The roads joining to then depart
The memories soft ethereal
Eyes waning losing sight
The mind now falters
Was it but games
He just liar
Easy
Me
This poem is written in Etheree (and reverse Etheree) form. In this version I have left the 10th line as a pivot using it for both parts. For more information on the form, click here
Devics – The man I love
This is another beautiful example of the etheree, Geetha…sad but so well-penned
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Thomas. As I said in another comment this was the only form I had to rework as the flow was not so precise in syllable count. The result was that it gave additional distance, which is a good thing. I also reworked a bit so that symmetrical lines rhyme fully although some were already naturally rhyming
LikeLiked by 1 person
you are welcome, Geetha…great job!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully done, and a familiar portrait of heartbreak so skillfully stylized by your pen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Eric. I read in a fellow blogger’s post that perhaps we only write or best write spurred by sadness. While I write from both places I think that perhaps sadness, however distant the memories gives the most intense output. I am sorry it is familiar to you and hope it is not recent
LikeLike
Exactly what, Dajena said. Seriously though, I love this form and you are so adept at putting your hand/pen to almost anything.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. How lovely of both of you to be so encouraging. I found this form on Shiva (theshivasponder.wordpress.com) website and really loved it. I think it also has to do with the impression of ebb and flow which I am a very big fan of.
LikeLike
It fits you like a glove. It might be something I’d be willing to try at some stage. You’re incredibly versatile and so so talented.
LikeLike
I was actually thinking you should use it too. One of your posts (Reflection) was very close to that form and you could rework your thoughts or create a new poem with the form.
Usually I just let the words flow but that was not possible for this form. I had to actually cut out a few words or put in others to reach the syllable count. It was an interesting exercise to actually rework the flow of the poetry because I usually write in one go and do not have to retouch but this working on the structure felt like chiseling, a very nice feeling. I think you’ll enjoy doing the same 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so like me, Geetha. I usually just type as the words flow from my mind. This will challenge me and force me to take a step back. Just what I need.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Enjoy it. I look forward to reading the result 🙂
LikeLike
Another beautiful contribution to this form Geetha! Your pen is skillful and thrilling!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Dajena. I think this form will come out fabulously with your writing skills and hope you will play around with it in your usual versatile and captivating way 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 you are a sweetheart Geetha! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
There is a lot of heart yes, thanks 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, what a cool rendition of the song. It’s great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes it is. I love it too
LikeLike