The end of the rain

The end of the rain
1 August 2018

woman in rain shutterstock com
Courtesy shutterstock.com

The rain was falling heavily on the roof of the car. From time to time a coconut, its stem  loosened from the tree it had clung to, fell onto the roof of the car causing a more audible thud than the falling rain. The air that had recently been hot and heavy grew cooler. The driver turned off the air conditioning and opened the windows. Some rain fell into the car and onto her lap, startling her and making her leave her daydreaming.

She looked around her and her eyes met the landscape of heaped piles of rubbish and slowly filling sewages. The rain had freed the stench of the sewages that had been slightly more discreet earlier. It reached her nostrils and she felt overpowered by the stench. The driver caught her look and reassured her that the pouring rain would soon cleanse the sewage. He smiled at her nodding his head in the typical way that all Indians did, a halfway between a yes and a no that was difficult to decipher for anyone who was not from the country.

The light turned red and the taxi came to a standstill. She looked back at the sewages and the piles of garbage. She still wondered at how she had reached here with what seemed to be no real purpose or mission other than making her father happy. She was not sure this was how it was meant to be. She struggled inwards against the feeling of hopelessness that gnawed at her heart.

Outside beggars were busy grappling with their tatters trying to cover and shield themselves from the pouring rain. Some stood stoically beside the windows of those drivers who had opened them and stonily asked for money, their faces devoid of any sense of expectation of mercy. A few vendors shook some toys and other gadgets in front of the windows, yelling the prices across. Their faces held the hope that some of the children in the back seats would help the parents in the front seat make a positive decision in their favour. She watched as their faces fell when the lights turned green and the cars resumed their rush across the streets.

Somewhere at the back of her mind she could feel an analogy forming between those vendors, the beggars and herself. They were all hoping for something that simply did not seem to be coming their way. She looked out at the beggars making their way through the swerving cars. They seemed in no hurry to get out of the way and there were no policemen coming to mend the situation. It had always surprised her to notice that there were so few policemen at the points of great turbulence although there were several hanging around in groups laughing and exchanging pleasantries where there seemed to be no traffic problems at all.

She smiled a wry smile at the thought that where she had indeed seen a policeman at a point of turbulence where beggars and other vendors had been obstructing traffic, he simply did not seem to be concerned. Another oddity, at least for her, was the regular crossing of cows which made their way across the street oblivious of the traffic. Some of the cows actually simply stayed in the middle of the street and the drivers artfully drove around them thanks no doubt to years of experience doing that. The drivers were not so kind though to the stray dogs which sometimes ended up in the middle of the road or on its sides as roadkill.

Her mind strayed back to the times when she had been musing on the meaning of life and the equivalence of all beings. It had seemed to her earlier that all beings had to be equal for there to be a proper energetic balance in the world. She realised now that in practice it was going to be very difficult to achieve such a state of being because nobody seemed to be willing to consider what they coined as lesser beings as their equal. She realised that she too was not yet at that stage.

It then occurred to her that perhaps beyond the desire of her father, this was what had brought her to this country. Practice what you preach she told herself inwards ironically She had indeed always embraced the theory that all beings were alike but in her daily life in a country where she was not confronted with the reality of all these beings swarming together in the same context it had seemed easier. Now that everything was let loose and seemingly at par, she realised that it was not so easy to live that concept in its entirety.

She thought about the dog she had lost in her old location and how much more it had seemed feasible to consider herself as equal to it while it seemed much more difficult
with the dirty stray dogs in this country. She knew that with the practice of the stillness of the mind she could extract herself from the context and reach a feeling of inward peace but somehow she felt that she must go through this sense of uneasiness stirred by the filling sewages and their stench and reach inward peace while experiencing all of this. Perhaps this was one of the reasons she was here, to be at the heart of a turbulent, dirty city and yet feel the sense of inner peace pervading her.

She giggled at the thought that she might be stuck here a long time as she did not feel capable of attaining that inner peace within this context if she were not to extract herself from it mentally. The rising stench slowly sobered her and she watched again the whizzing landscape of beggars, vendors, piles of rubbish, flowing sewages and cars. The rain had gradually gone down to a trickle and she gratefully noticed that the sewages had not started overflowing. She had heard horror stories of people having to wade through sewage water to reach their destination and she really did not feel up to such a feat.

She relaxed into her seat and stared at the sky which was clearing up seemingly at the same speed that her thoughts were. She felt great satisfaction at having reached the realisation of one of the reasons she was here. There were surely other reasons and she felt that some of them were tied to the acquisition of empirical knowledge and acceptance of some of the theories she had embraced earlier purely in the form of a thought process.

She felt that once she was able to experience these matters and reach the same conclusions as in her thought process, she would no longer have to be in that context because context as a concept would no longer hold any meaning for her. It was a necessary stage in the journey towards identifying within her the traceless and placeless. Just as it was necessary to be in a context that exacerbated something to be able to say that one had truly overcome its effect on oneself, it was also necessary to be in a context that challenged one’s beliefs to be able to say that one truly held those beliefs as valid. She now was on the right path in the journey of self-discovery. Know thyself she thought and within her welled a feeling of having overcome a stage towards that end. She smiled at the sun that peeped from behind the clouds signaling the end of the rain.

 

Return of the rains – Karunesh

 

 

Stillness of the mind

Stillness of the mind

8 July 2018

earthstillness12
Courtesy in5d.com

Panic seized her again at the thought of all she had to do. It seemed like a list of insurmountable tasks and she was wondering which to start with. She felt discouraged at the thought that not only she would have to find a way to accomplish all those tasks but she would also have to pay for the persons rendering the various services she needed for the accomplishment of some of the tasks. It would cost a lot of money ; money that she was not earning for now. She felt like crying but the tears did not come. Instead she felt a wave of weariness overcome her. Fortunately or unfortunately the weariness did not last and panic struck again.

She became restless and started biting her nails. She checked herself immediately as she did not want to end up like some people did with very small chewed-up nails, a testimonial of their anxiety. The thoughts raced through her head again and she felt desperate. She cried out to her guardian angels for help but was met with only silence. A silence that seemed deafening in comparison to her cries. She wondered how things had come to this point. There had to be an explanation for all that was happening. Things never happened without a reason and she was sure that there must be some reason for this chain of events.

Despite her reasoning she was starting to get desperate again and hated the feeling of helplessness that accompanied the flurry of her thoughts. She had not been able to meditate that morning as her mind had been too busy and pervading, not allowing her to focus on the meditation. She wondered if the lack of meditation was not worsening things. When she meditated things always seemed to be alight with fresh perspectives but today all her thoughts seemed to be cloaked with a dull tone of grey.

She suddenly realised that she was getting trapped by the age-old trap of fear. She was allowing herself to be sucked into the destructive energy of fear instead of maintaining herself within the powerful energy of love. She realised that it was her own mind that was allowing this, focusing on all the negative outcomes instead of focusing on the positive ones. Her mind kept trying to convince her that the positive outcomes were few while the negative outcomes were many and more likely.

She slowly tried to silence her mind that kept chattering away its thoughts into her head, attempting to make her feel submerged by helplessness again. She focused on her breathing and willed the thoughts away. She would deal with each task as and when it came up in the best way possible. Slowly she could feel the thoughts ebbing away as her mind gave in to the rhythm of her breathing. In a few minutes she was thoughtless and started focusing on the middle of her crown chakra.

She could feel the silence growing within but it was a pleasant silence now. She breathed in and out very calmly. Slowly but surely she could feel herself being filled with a sense of peace and joy. Her mind was silent and she could see a light growing at the tip of her crown chakra where her intent was focused. She played with the light, watching it grow until it filled all her head and then imagined it travelling downwards towards her toes before going up again and filling her whole body. She was light, she was peace, she was acceptance. She was pure thoughtlessness and silence. It had all begun with the stillness of the mind.

Stillness of the mind – Abel Korzeniowski

The chalk on the floor

The chalk on the floor

5 July 2018

chalk pinterest com
Courtesy pinterest.com

 

She readjusted the dish-stand. It still looked crooked. Nothing seemed to be straight in anything that was going on around her she thought. Her shoulders hunched slightly in defeat. She turned the dish-stand around lengthwise against the wall and it finally seemed to fit straight. At least one thing that would be in order she thought. She laughed to herself at the idea that her OCD behaviour seemed to be returning. This was definitely not the place to have those compulsions she thought to herself. She shrugged off the nagging impulse to set straight the jars that were drying next to the sink.

On the floor a cockroach was running towards shelter under the sink. She gritted her teeth and tried to swat it with the broom but it was too fast for her. She re-positioned the broom but it had already disappeared under the sink. She did not feel like going to search for it. The mere idea of pursuing the insect under the sink nauseated her. She looked for the chalk she had bought earlier and that was said to keep away ants and roaches. Slowly but surely, she began drawing straight lines all across the floor, around the sink, the granite topped cavities that acted as makeshift cupboards and the small wooden cupboards.

After she had finished drawing the lines she stood up and gazed at them. Some seemed slightly crooked and she bent down to draw straighter lines after she had rubbed away those that seemed crooked. She repeated the experience when she felt the result was unsatisfactory. After a while she was far more pleased with the result of her drawings. She stood up and gazed at the drawings from above. They were indeed very straight now with the intersections giving forth clean right angles.

From the corner of her eye she could see one of the huge ants that had been there earlier run towards the cupboard and then stop before the line in front of it. She was extremely pleased to have bought the chalk. It seemed like her ticket to sanity in this insane circle of huge ants and roaches that had been taking turns in attacking her stock of groceries. She looked at the lines again beaming at the idea that they would finally protect the groceries. Under the tube light it seemed to her that the chalk on the floor beamed back at her.

 

Opa Tsupa – Les deux Guitares

Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis

4 July 2018

Metamorphosis pinterest com
Courtesy pinterest.com

 

Shimmering instants

Journey into memories

Soft wistful touches

 

Glimpses into worlds

Reckoning of past chances

Star studded pathways

 

Future happenings

Inking of flights into fields

Metamorphosis

 

Reading of the poem: 

 

I will not bow – Breaking Benjamin

Dance with the Devil – Breaking Benjamin

Until the End – Breaking Benjamin

Soul between two worlds

Soul between two worlds

4 July 2018

Soul worlds pinterest com.jpg

 

The light plays with dark

Random pathways of glitter

Entwined creations

 

Scintillating beams

Whispers from lands of morrows

Otherworldly dreams

 

Enchantment in chest

Mind composing miracles

Soul between two worlds

 

Reading of the poem: 

Divine Overtone Chanting – Istvan Sky

The Edge of the Light

The Edge of the Light

24 June 2018

edge Christian Schloe
Courtesy Christian Schloe.

 

There is dark

On the road to Home

It revives

Surprises

When we feel that we’re alone

It cloaks us like ink

 

We reach brink

Of our own limits

Fortune tells

Unheard Tales

The faithless the self impales

Carry no crosses

 

Heartbeats still

Raging fires cease

The disease

Self made ache

We commit the same mistake

Over and over

 

Withered eyes

Seek out the lanterns

Look outside

Not inside

Curtains ruffle as they slide

Concealing outcomes

 

The Light shines

I hold it within

Starry skies

Breath that cries

Outreach of my inner depths

When the will wavers

 

Seek the star

When the night is dark

Like a spark

It will guide

Know that in darkness you ride

The Edge of the Light

 

Reading of the poem:

Shine a Light – Banners

 

« When you come to the edge of all of the light you’ve known and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen. You’ll have something solid to stand on or you’ll be taught to fly » Patrick Overton

 

Do you hear me now ?

Do you hear me now ?

24 June 2018

Hear me Christian Schloe
Courtesy Christian Schloe

 

Wasted memories

Withered jasmine flowers cast

A pathway to home

 

Lilies in the pond

Roots swaying under water

Beckoning to stems

 

Yesterday’s trials

Reaching the otherworldly

Luminescent talks

 

Edge of sanity

Hovering in between worlds

Seeing the unseen

 

Ghost whispers in me

Beseeching wandering thoughts

A silent prayer

 

Sheltered happenings

Breathing into the ether

Do you hear me now ?

 

Reading of the poem: 

Adiyogi: The Source of Yoga – Original Music Video ft. Kailash Kher & Prasoon Joshi