Alternate Realities – Chapter Six : The path of the Goddess
10 June 2019
She held out her hand and the dragons came closer, sniffing carefully at her hands before they huddled closer around her and rubbed their cheeks and foreheads against her palms. Their skin had not developed the hard scales yet and it felt smooth and silky. She was fascinated by how sweet and loving they seemed. Not at all the scary beasts that stories would have them be. Perhaps this was a feature of being in their infancy.
– How long does it take for a dragon to mature, she asked
– It depends
– How can it depend ?
– It depends if it is a real dragon or an imaginary replica
– What do you mean an imaginary replica ?
– Some of these dragons were born in the way that they usually are, through the interaction between a God and a human. Some of them are not born, they are imagined based on either the memory of that interaction or the vision of the interaction to come
– How can humans and Gods have a physical relationship ?
– It only happens in this Universe and is only possible with human beings
– How are the others imagined ? How do they actually get life out of imagination
– Well in this universe a lot is based on what is perceived. Not much really exists out of the sphere of the human imagination. Everything is merely energy. It is the perception of how that energy evolves that makes it evolve into various concrete forms. When a human woman remembers or foresees an interaction with a God, her womb accumulates the energy of a planned birth but as the spark is not transferred into her, the energy does not materialise into an actual dragon but is just an imaginary replica.
– You said they were neither flesh nor spirit but a combination of both. What does that mean ?
– They are not made with an actual sperm, unlike when the interaction is between humans but are made with the spark that is transferred by the God into the woman. That spark then evolves into a dragon in the womb of the woman
– Does it not kill her when it comes out of her ? She was thinking back to the various alien movies
– It does not, because it just dematerialises out of her womb and rematerialises outside. As I said, they are a combination of flesh and spirit and can be either one or the other depending upon the circumstances.
– Can all women be impregnated by Gods ?
– Not all. Only some and not all are able to give birth to dragons. Some just give forth immaterial beings because they are not able to imagine the dragon into the world.
– This is quite confusing. I never thought it would be like this. Why were some of the dragons cuddling up to me.
– That is because you are their mother
– What ? Her head was spinning again like when she had first realised who he was.
– You are their mother, he repeated softly
– With whom ?
– I think you already know that by now
– It can’t be. I thought it was all part of my imagination
– It is
– I’m so sorry.
– It does not matter
– How can we use them in the battle then ?
– They get their power from their father and it helps provide the energy required to counter the Gods of the dark and their armies. When you house the Mother, it will all become clear.
– House the Mother? What do you mean ?
– I think you know that too. You must remember that you have already housed her before
– Housed her ? When ?
– Not so long ago. Unfortunately it did not work out exactly as planned and it is just as well as the children of the world in between were not ready yet.
She vaguely remembered the great light that had come like a torch of fire and gone into her eyes. It had seemed like a bird of flames and she had not been able to run away or close her eyes. That light had penetrated her through the eyes and had filled her being. She looked back at him
– Yes, he said before she voiced her question
– That was the Mother ? Why did she leave then ?
– Well there was a lot of meddling that happened. Instead of her being manifested into you naturally, there were some people who tried to accelerate the process, spoiling it
– Too many cooks…, she said wryly.
– If they had not meddled with the process the integration would have been complete. Unfortunately they wanted to control the process apparently to ensure they could use it to their benefit I imagine.
– But how can I house her now ? Should she not be within the body of a young and physically fit woman ?
– That is not what is most important. Besides, once the Mother dwells within you and the integration is complete you will be transformed
– Why me ?
– The Mother does not choose mere beauty. She can create it out of nothing, even in this world if she were to wish so. She wanted someone who would not follow religious dogma but would be a seeker of spirituality. Someone who had just enough balance between the right brain and the left brain to be able to keep their imagination alive while being well versed in mathematics and with an interest in science. A woman with courage, endurance and balance. Someone whose skin she would feel comfortable in, a lover of art and the spoken word.
– I do love words, she said with a smile
– Do you know that words, spoken in a certain way and with the right intention allow the manifestation of thoughts ? The ancient people of this world knew that and were able to create things through the use of carefully selected words
– You mean magic spells ?
– Yes, if you wish to call it that. It is merely the manifestation of focused intention.
– How do you know someone meddled with the process of the integration, she asked, curious about that episode that had seemed so hazy now.
– The Mother and I are not absolutely sure if they wanted to accelerate the process or stall it. What we know is that they gave you a drug a few days before the Mother was about to transfer a part of her consciousness into you. That drug interfered with your chemical balance and made the transfer of the Mother into you unstable. If it had not been for that, the integration would have been complete.
– Why does the Mother need to integrate with me.
– She needs to be within this world to transform it from the inside out. That is the best way to conquer it back. If she comes as the Mother, she will not be able to interact with all human beings alike. She needs a human envelope to enable that interaction. She does not come here to be worshipped but to change the state of things in this world, beginning with the condition of women.
– Why women ?
– Simply because they nurture and when their lives are better, there will be less fear in the world. As you know, a world without fear is a world that will belong to us again. Then humanity can enter the Golden Age.
She looked at Horus and looked back at the dragons. She wondered how they would be contributing their energy. Would they know about their father ? Would they not want to fight alongside him instead of with the Mother, Horus and her ?
– Dragons are more loyal to their mother than to their father, he said. He seemed to be reading her mind again
– How do you know that ?
– I know that because the ones we had together chose you over me
– The ones we had together ? Her head was reeling now
– I know this is all a lot to digest but when Settesh realised that the dragons birthed would not follow him, he stopped making them with you. The Mother knew we needed more dragons so asked me to make more with you.
– And I did not have a say in all of this of course, she said slightly bitterly
– It is done now. It had to be done. You barely realised the difference
She looked again at the dragons and felt something strange between fascination, motherly pride and love. They looked so cute, she could not believe that they would become huge and powerful beyond her wildest dreams. Horus was now communicating silently to her that soon the mother would be back and she must be ready for her. The children must also evolve so they could play their part. All she had to do was think of them evolving, perceive it happening and it would happen. She looked back at the dragons and imagined them growing. The more she imagined, the more she felt they were actually growing.
She put the kettle on the fire and reached for the tea leaves in the tin on the shelf above the stove. The tin had again been displaced by her mother-in-law it seemed. She did indeed find it in the lower shelf under the stove. She wondered why her mother-in-law even bothered to do that as she never made tea for herself but came to her instead, even if it were in the middle of the night. Shanti hated how her mother-in-law would storm into their room whining that her throat was hurting her and that nobody had given her any tea or any milk and honey before she had gone to bed. She knew very well that her mother-in-law was lying as she remembered having given her whatever she asked for before but her husband would still growl and ask her to tend to his mother properly.
It pained her that she had to take care of everything relentlessly and that nobody in the house thanked her for it, on the contrary. It pained her more to think that her own mother was alone back in India since her dad had passed away and that her husband would not allow her to bring her to live with them. He did not have a problem keeping his mother in their house but always found excuses for why they could not have her mother with them. She felt anger at the age-old traditions well inside her. It was always the woman who had to give up her home, her name, her family and serve the family of her husband. When she thought about all the books she read and how they spoke about emancipation, she felt a bitter laugh rise in her throat. All that education just for making tea and meals now for a grumpy old woman. She felt like a slave and it was ironically even worse than that considering that her father paid a high price for that slave condition.
She had had so many dreams and her mother had kept feeding her more dreams, telling her that all she had to do was succeed in her studies and she could do anything. Unfortunately when her dad had decided that she needed to be married to one of their distant cousins abroad, her mother never spoke a word. She and her father both pretended it was in her best interest as her future husband was living abroad and she would have better chances to find a job and use the university degree she had got. It was all make believe as they knew well that he came from a very traditional side of the family who only wanted women to be educated so they could have a better match. None of the women in his family had ever made it to a paid job despite their higher studies. She winced as she took the vegetables out of the fridge and hit her hand against the door. Her hand was still hurting her from when her husband had twisted it. He had apologised but it was not the first time and she had started to understand that it would not be the last.
She slowly started dicing the vegetables. Her mother-in-law peeped through the kitchen door. « Still cutting the vegetables. When will the curry be ready ? » she yelled. « Where is my tea ? » she continued, almost in the same breath. She seemed to be hiding something in her saree’s hip area. Shanti followed her out of the kitchen and watched as she put what seemed to be a letter inside the drawer. She waited as she knew her mother-in-law would soon be going to the toilet. As soon as she shuffled out of the room, Shanti swooped into it and took the letter from the drawer. It was addressed to her and was from an aunt. She ripped it open, a bit confused why her mother-in-law was hiding a letter sent to her. In it her aunt asked why she had not come to her mother’s funeral. She put the letter down in shock. She was supposed to speak to her mother that weekend.
Normally, her cousin would go to her mother’s house every three weeks to ensure that she was able to use the video chat of whatsapp as her mother could not figure out how to use the device and the elderly neighbours were not of much help. It was no point calling her when she was alone as she would never hear the phone ringing despite the number of times that her daughter would call her. She had become quite deaf with age so it was a very complicated process to get in touch with her and speak to her. The letter mentioned she had been buried almost two weeks before. It was shortly after she had spoken to her that her mother had passed away. She wondered why nobody had got in touch with her to let her know that over the phone. She read on and realised that her cousins had called and delayed the funeral but they had reached her husband who had not passed on the message. She remembered now why. He was due to go to a convention that week and did not want to have to find an alternate solution for his mother.
Her mother-in-law came back and found her with the letter. She sniffed and snorted and pretended that she was not aware of what was going on. Shanti started asking her why they had not told her. Her mother-in-law pretended again she was not aware of what Shanti was talking about. Shanti started screaming with tears of rage and hurt streaming along her face as she held her mother-in-law by the shoulders asking her again and again why they had not told her. Her mother-in-law’s attitude infuriated her. All of a sudden she felt somebody haul her from the shoulders, throw her on to the ground and kick her in the stomach. She realised it was her husband. « Don’t you ever dare touch my mother » he yelled. She thought that it was rich. She had not touched the old grouch and instead he was the one hitting her. She tried to sit up and felt a searing pain go through her belly. She seemed to be bleeding at the bottom of her dress. Her mind was swirling. He had kicked her in the belly which was still terribly painful. Why was she bleeding down there ? Her mind went blank and she blacked out.
When she woke up in the hospital the nurse told her softly that she had lost her baby. She was sore all over but barely felt any grief for the baby. All her grief was turned towards her mother and the ache of not having been able to be there for her funeral was just eating at her. She felt terrible but she was not sure that she wanted that baby at all when she thought of it. Now that her mother was gone she could finally go away and be free and if the baby had lived, she would never have been free. When her mother was still alive she would not have wanted to cause her any shame but she did not care what the rest of the family thought. She knew that she would not stay with her husband once her parents had passed away. This was not the life she had wanted for herself and she had never been the kind who would take abuse. She had only kept quiet so her parents would not feel bad and she had not asked for a divorce because she had known how crushed her parents would have felt with the shame. Theirs was a traditional family after all.
When she returned home she picked up her clothes and piled them up in her suitcase. Her husband had stayed back at home and followed her his fist raised as if to strike her. She lashed out at him when he attempted to. She was no longer going to take it silently. He lunged at her again and she struck back. It was a bloody battle, with her scratching and biting and him striking. At the end he won of course with his brutish force and she lay on the floor bruised and battered, her belly aching again. At the end of the argument he had taken her passport and burnt it on the stove. She had tried to retrieve it but it was all charred. It would take her several weeks now to be able to get a new one. She could not imagine staying another day in this house but she would still have to wait until the next morning before she ventured out as she had no money and no documents to identify her. She went to the stove and put the kettle to make herself some tea hoping it would help ease her belly pain. She could hear her mother-in-law creep into the kitchen. It felt like déjà-vu except that it seemed to have a more sinister feel to it.
She turned around just in time to see her mother-in-law splash some liquid on her dress, face and arms. As the liquid reached her, she could see it lighting up like a wave of fire all around her. She realised that her mother-in-law had thrown some inflammable liquid on her. She could smell her skin burning and she tried to run and find something to put the fire out but the old woman pushed her with her cane. Suddenly she was not so frail and plaintive anymore. She hissed in a horrible voice while she struck her with the cane at her forehead « That’s for lacking respect to my son. He is hundred times your worth ». Shanti fell to the ground, her body writhing with the combination of pain from her belly and the burning. She tried smothering the fire by rolling on the floor but the flames kept licking at her as the old woman kept spraying her with the liquid. She could see her husband’s face appear at the kitchen door. He looked aghast at what was happening as he watched his mother bathe his wife in alcohol while she was burning. « Mother, how could you ? What are we going to do now » was the last thing Shanti heard.
When the ambulance arrived, she had been severely burnt all over her body. She passed away the same night. Her husband told the police that his mother and her were cooking in the kitchen and all of a sudden the bottle of alcohol they were keeping to clean items had spilled over on his wife’s clothes making them catch fire. He explained that his mother had tried to help but owing to the fact that she was old and walked with a cane she had tripped and slipped instead making the whole bottle spill over his wife. He had just come in to see that happening and had quickly gone to look for a blanket to smother the flames on his wife but she had continued to burn. The police did not find his story very credible given the amount of scratch marks and bites all over him and the bruises all over the parts of his wife’s body that were not burnt. They charged him for murder in the first degree. His mother watched and whined plaintively as they took him away in the courthouse. She would have to go back to the village now and live with one of her other sons who had not done so well and gone abroad. All because of that stupid Shanti she thought.
Shanti’s husband sat in a corner of the prison courtyard. There were a lot of inmates who despite being hardened criminals did not take kindly to men who beat up their wives who could not defend themselves. Some of them were eyeing him and planning on teaching him a lesson. The bell rang for lunchtime. He plodded along with the rest of the prisoners knowing that things were not going to be so easy for him in here. This was his first day in prison and he was already regretting that he had not told the police it was his mother who had killed Shanti. Would they have even believed him, anyway ? They would have simply thought he was trying to pin it on her using her as a scapegoat. He reached the dining area. There was a sickening smell coming from the kitchen area. He knew that smell.
The prisoner at the counter smiled at him. « Meat for your first day, you lucky bum» he said smiling. The man had not heard unlike the others why he was in prison. Shanti’s husband looked down at the meat. That sickening smell. « I can’t eat it » he screamed. « I need to eat everything raw. Raw, you hear me ? Raw, raw, raw ! » he continued screaming as he tried to throttle the man at the counter. He seemed to have lost his mind. His eyes were glazed and he was frothing at the mouth. He screamed and kicked while they carried him out of the dining room and into the infirmary. He never recovered speech but he only got raw food since then or there would be another scene of him turning into a madman again. He ate his food quietly in the corner. The other inmates did not even bother teaching him a lesson. He was like a ghost, barely noticeable as he had thinned down a lot. Nobody bothered talking to him and none of his family members asked for him. From time to time the prison psychiatrist met him and when she asked for him, the guards would only answer referring to him with the nickname he had earned there :« Raw ».
According to Wikipedia “In 1995, Time Magazine reported that dowry deaths in India increased from around 400 a year in the early 1980s to around 5800 a year by the middle of the 1990s. A year later, CNN ran a story saying that every year police receive more than 2500 reports of bride burning. According to Indian National Crime Record Bureau, there were 1948 convictions and 3876 acquittals in dowry death cases in 2008. India reports the highest total number of dowry deaths with 8,391 such deaths reported in 2010, meaning there are 1.4 deaths per 100,000 women.”
Alternate Realities – Chapter Five : The World in between
21 April 2019
Horus looked at her surprised face and asked “Did you not know I would come to guide you?”
No, she answered. I thought it was an angelic guide
There are angels too but their mission is else. They are responsible for managing the overarching system of the multiverse. The gods that I belong to are responsible only for this universe. We do not manage what is happening in other universes
So each universe has its own gods?
Do you find that surprising? – he laughed throatily. In just one world you have managed to have so many gods. It should not surprise you that there are many more in the other universes of the multiverse.
How do the gods manage not to fight over universes?
Well they actually do fight.
They seem to be very humane gods. If there is one thing that makes them similar to humans it would be the desire for additional conquests then.
We are not the source. The source does not need to fight. It owns all, it is all.
Do you fight with other gods?
I had to a very long time ago and I might have to again. You will help me fight. You and the children of the world in between.
Yes, neither human, nor gods, neither flesh nor spirit but a combination of both, capable of living in both worlds and changing as the circumstances require.
Where are they now? Are they ready to fight for you?
They are not ready yet. It will take time for that. I need to get you ready first. That is why I had come to guide you.
She was a bit puzzled at all of this. What had this got to do with getting rid of her fears and moving into higher realms? If this was what the higher realms were made of then she was not sure that she wanted any of it. She had a hard time already trying to reconcile the fact that humans only thought of getting more for themselves and were ready to slaughter each other for that, if the gods too were like that, she was not sure she wanted to be involved with them at all.
It is not the same thing. We do not fight pettily. Some of us are gods of the light and others gods of the dark. In the beginning the source created us equal and gave each group of us a world to manage but some gods wanted to have more worlds than the one they were assigned. They were mainly the gods of the dark. They wanted darkness to be spread all over the universe so we had to fight them as they were pitilessly slaughtering the beings under their care.
Why did the source not intervene?
The source is convinced that balance will prevail, automatically. You have to understand that for the source, all that you are going through, all the lifetimes of the humans and the beings on the other worlds are like a tiny speck of dust in comparison to its existence. The source will wait and will not intervene and that wait could be billions of years for humans and the other beings so we have to fight.
Who are we meant to fight? How do you fight gods?
There is one god who started this and who gathered all the other gods of the dark under his command. He is called Settesh. If we overcome Settesh, then all the other gods of the dark will cease their hostilities and relinquish the worlds they conquered to their rightful owners.
Is the Earth conquered
Yes, it is one of those worlds that was conquered.
Who did it originally belong to?
It belonged to me and my parents. Settesh killed my father and partly took over this world. When I was ready to fight him my mother taught me the ways but it was only half a victory and we were never able to shake his hold of this world.
How could he have partly conquered it. I don’t understand.
It is conquered by fear. As long as humans vibrate to the energy of fear, it will remain under his control. From time to time there is a large manifestation of love and that is when his grip becomes weak but as long as there are humans who fear, this world will never be fully ours and humans will never enter the Golden Age of their history.
She realised that what he was saying made sense. It had always seemed to her that fear had a debilitating effect on humans and she understood why he had been so insistent that she get rid of the fear before the ascension to the land of all beginnings. She had let the fear control her and her ascension had been a difficult experience. She understood now why the Mother had not been more welcoming. Burdened by fear she was more a tool of Settesh than a warrior of the light. The Mother and Toth had still weighed her deeds and given her the token so surely they thought she would still be helpful to them. She vowed to her self that she would start meditating more and concentrating on the light so that she could fill herself with it and merge with the sensation of universal love she felt when meditating.
Let us go, he said
I am ready but where are we going?
To the world in between. It is a continuum of the land of all beginnings so your token will help you get there.
She energised her heart and crown chakras before vibrating her heart to activate the token. The walls dilated and contracted before disappearing altogether. She felt the motion of a joyride as her consciousness slid into the other world. It was like falling endlessly through a well except that she had to steer herself to avoid being sucked into the holes on the sides which lead to nothingness. Horus on the other hand did not need to slide, he simply dematerialised and materialised from one world to another. He halted her consciousness and she slid through a small opening in the spiral. They had reached the world in between and he explained that the children were waiting for them. She steadied herself to get rid of the swaying feeling and looked around. There were at least hundred of them gathered around and slowly moving towards them. She let out a gasp of surprise. These were not any children. They were dragons!
She felt him return. It was imperceptible at first but then growingly clear that he had come back. Her mind went back to the preliminary stages of the initiation. The being that had taken her on the path to the land of all beginnings was back again. She wondered whether he was there to castigate her for she had not listened closely to all his teachings when she had ventured on the path. He had told her that it was primordial to lose all fear before she started but she had not fully realised what he had meant then. The split that had occurred between her etheric and bodily selves had been extremely painful and instead of being an experience full of light, it had been overshadowed with fears and had lead to an uneven ascension.
She turned towards where she knew he stood looking at her and voiced her regret. He answered her back in her mind that there was no point in regretting now. She had gone through the needle’s eye but had not fully gone through the purge of the flames and until she did that devoid of fears, she would not be born into the light properly. Her higher birth had been hindered by the fear and she was therefore only partially born again into the etheric. Although she would maintain the contact with the land of all beginnings, she needed a token and would not be able to freely interact with it until she had completed her rebirth.
A phoenix is reborn through the flames and not just by undergoing the impression of flames, he said
I do not know if I am ready, she answered
When your mind is devoid of fear, you can take the path again. Your deeds will no longer be weighed but you will undergo other tests for your rebirth, the first of which is the preliminary birth through the flames
Aren’t the flames enough ?
The flames are just the beginning, the shedding of your mortal self and birth into the eternal realms
Will my bodily frame disappear completely ?
But my dear, you have no body. It is all a concept of your mind and the more you attach yourself to that perception, the more mortal you become
Are you saying that we could become immortal ?
You are already immortal but you do not realise it. That lack of realisation of your immortal selves is what makes you age, die and come here again as another bodily self but it is always you. Until you realise that you are immortal, you will keep coming here
So what happens when we realise that we are immortal
Well, you either stop coming here because it no longer interests you or if you have built relationships with beings here that you care for then you come back as guides that hardly age and do not die but transcend when the density of this world becomes too much for them to bear
What should I do then
Start from the beginning again. Focus on clearing yourself from the fears and then we will start the path again. You should have started meditating properly like I advised you to before initiating the path
I am meditating now. Will that change things ?
Yes, you will be able to see beyond your fears, the true nature of things
She realised he was showing her parts of him and she wondered whether it was her imagination or whether he really looked like that. She took in the majestic demeanour, the perfectly shaped torso and the strange birdlike face. It all looked very familiar and then suddenly the realisation hit her. She ran to her laptop and googled what was on her mind and there he stood, much like the being in front of her, except that the picture was an exaggerated version of his physical traits. It was him, the one that had been on her mind all the while before this being had made its entrance into her life : Horus !