Hush hush now Mama will build a boat
Just to keep you and me afloat
And if we were to never meet a land
Mama would build a castle made of sand
Yesterday was full of lights in the sky
From ground they reached a burning tidal high
And when the flames seared higher than my cry
I watched them run wilder than hopes would die
Hush hush now Mama will fill your throat
With cries to fly beyond the highest note
The flags will rise above the waving hands
The music will break through the dancing bands
Tomorrow’s crops are burnt for ever more
The gaping hedges drizzling in downpour
And when the wheat’s prices were to soar
She gave them fields of seeds that many bore
Hush hush now Mama will knead the bread
So gently when you’re a million dead
The fallen hark for every word she said
An emblem lost from mind of every head
We once saw the Earth burning like a pyre
From each dark cry their lips would expire
And when I lay beside you on the fire
We rekindled flames blazing higher and higher
Reading of the poem:
She smiled at him. He was getting more interesting by the day. She always knew that her interest in men was more of the sapiosexual kind but had not realized until this day how much this was true. It was not that he was not handsome, far from that. In fact, she would classify him quite high on the handsome scale although his features might not be the classical handsome face. Yet it was not that which attracted her. What appealed to her most was the fact that he knew so much about a variety of matters and spoke like her several languages, some of which she did not speak herself.
He sensed her keener interest and was visibly flattered. He moved closer to her and she nudged towards him, her left flank now touching his right flank. She could feel the heat seep towards her from under his shirt. She felt all warm and cosy and it gave her a fuzzy feeling. He looked intently at her. Her eyes shone with that particular sheen which had captivated him right from the start. Unlike his green and gold speckled eyes, her eyes bore a dark liquid intensity that he had rarely seen in the eyes of the girls he had flirted with before.
This one was going to be trouble for his heart if she did not respond to his wishes in the way he wanted. He knew she wanted and celebrated her freedom. Would they be able to keep this feeling despite the both of them being so fiercely independent, he wondered? Yet he knew that every time he was away from her it was like something within him was missing. He simply had to come back to her or her to him, he was not sure which one of them wandered back to the other. Like drunken sailors they seemed to rift apart and then stumble into each other again.
It was as if an invisible thread with a spring-like quality was holding them and brought them back to each other when they wandered away too far. He had heard a saying once that people who were meant to meet were tied by an invisible thread. If the saying was true, then he and she were apparently glued together with several servings of invisible thread. He smiled to himself. He liked the idea of being strung up as long as it was with her…
True Love, Ego and “Death” or some personal experiences in Transcendence and Twinflames
21 October 2015
We all hear that only two things are certain in this world, i.e. Death and Taxes and we all tend to acknowledge both of these are primal truths of our world. In reality, only one of them, Death, is true in a certain sense while the other, Taxes, is just an invention of this world and as illusory as the dimension it was created in.
As a foreword after this brief statement, I would like to remind that you may send me emails to the address within my “about” page but please refrain from sending me end of the world type admonishing or hate emails because those will simply go unanswered as usual. Please also do not send me requests for giving you follow-up which would actually require medical assistance because I am not such a practitioner. Although I have helped some of you in the past with personal issues, I only do that on the basis of “listening” to your woes and giving personal, non-medical advice. If you have harrowing mental problems, I suggest you get in touch with a mental health practitioner first and I am happy to just give some advice and comfort as a back-up support system.
Getting back to the world of illusions as it correctly or as is the case most of the times incorrectly decodes the energy that encompasses it, Taxes are obviously a construct and they only thrive because we allow them to. Taxes serve a system whereby individuals can be bound to giving up their actual purpose in life thereby becoming a grey shadow of themselves and continuously feeding the system of slavery by devoting their time and life energy to enhancing the system’s power. Did it never strike you as odd that some actually had to give up almost half their earnings for spending of a nature they probably would never have approved of had they known where the money was going? The point of taxes is, however, not my current preoccupation so I will leave it aside for now.
Coming to the statement, the actual only certain thing in this world and any beyond it is Love. Not the shadow, fancy love that most people are open to and that is constructed on the basis of appearances but actual True Love that many ridicule because they are unable to attain it, bound as they are by the beguiling charms of a life sunk into the matter without any other higher purpose.
True Love is that which transcends the matter, the illusion, the charm, that which is only made of one individualised Soul talking to another individualised Soul. I say individualised because we will one day realise fully that we are all truly connected and that the individualisation of souls is merely an experimental matter that happens within this existence for various reasons. For brevity, I will refer to the Individualised Soul as merely the Soul although it should be understood that the Soul in reality could be called the Higher Soul which then would encompass a different level including all the parts of Consciousness that chooses to manifest itself. Souls when individualised can be divided in three levels of existence: the bodily representation, the etheric self and the spirit self. Spirit self and etheric self interact quite freely but these two interact less with the bodily representation except when it has reached a higher level of consciousness at which time the communication channel opens up internally for certain works to be done on the material plane.
Not all Souls are capable of talking to one another because most have lost the capacity to communicate in Soul language which can be considered akin to telepathy. When latched on to the bodily representation, when experiencing the various thrilling or demotivating aspects of the world of matter, the soul gets confused with the bodily aspirations and communication and loses the capacity of communicating properly in soul language. When it does keep portions of this capacity, the communications are not routed in the correct way and mostly get tangled in the web of communications of all the souls that continue trying to establish communication channels.
When two souls are able to establish some sort of a communication channel and are able to talk for a while, this is then called a soulmate connection and some work is done via this connection. It may happen that such a connection is also lived on the bodily plane by an actual physical relationship which does not need to be a romantic love interest one. Soulmate connections give the grounds to establish that Love is a reality and that all reality lived within the illusion world is an offshoot of that Love, whatever distortions it may have gone through in the meantime to serve the higher purpose within this material plane.
Some Souls retain a higher communication capacity because their mission, in whatever way it manifests itself in the material plane, is to fully establish the reality of True Love. These Souls which usually come to manifest in pairs have a connection capacity which is called Twinflame connection as the jargon goes and the connection is a very strong one when it is manifested simultaneously from a time perspective and normally fully establishes itself – except for rare circumstances – on all levels including the physical plane.
To understand the Twinflame connection one must understand that once the connection is established, three levels of interaction emerge: the interaction on the spirit plane (the spirit part of yourself meets the spirit part of your twinflame), the interaction on the etheric plane (the etheric part of yourself meets the etheric part of your twinflame) and the interaction on the matter plane (the body of you meets the body of your twinflame).
I insist that I am not an advisor on twinflame connections but merely am talking on the basis of what I have experienced myself which may or may not conflict with what other people experience or talk about. I hope it helps others find and relate to their twinflames if they do exist on this plane at this moment in Time.
When an interaction occurs on the spirit plane and both spirits have devised that there is a twinflame connection, the connection is then established on the etheric level and there is acute interaction on the etheric side which is lived out in dreams most of the time by the bodily representation of the Soul. When the etheric being, in conjunction with the spirit being decides that the bodily representation is ready, the full connection is made between the two bodily representations. This happens first on the etheric plane and is facilitated by the etheric beings who carry into the body the effects of the energy weaving which is happening on the etheric plane. When the twinflames meet, they recognise each other thanks to this interaction that occurred beforehand and are maintained together by the energy weaving on the etheric plane.
In order to enable this connection to happen within the physical world, both the etheric being and the spirit being of a twinflame will sow clues leading to the other twinflame. These clues are called synchronicities as the jargon goes and are merely there to be looked upon as indications of a twinflame connection. The synchronicities are mainly time-constrained elements such as special numbers on digital clocks, dates that stand out in mind or in eyesight or within hearing or are art-related such as music or paintings. The main reason for the choice of time-constrained elements is that the bodily representation is very linked to the notion of Time that it creates and that it is expressed within and linked to so only such clues are looked at carefully by the unconscious mind. The reason for the choice of art-related clues is that art is the highest form of communication from the Soul and is normally perceived unadulterated because, with some rare exceptions of distortions, it talks directly to the Soul and has a common intrinsic value to the twinflame Souls.
A few problems that might occur or have occurred and that prevent this connection from establishing itself fully are the following: mental illness of one of the twinflames, drug or any other strong substance abuse, actual chosen energy weavings with another partner who might be a soulmate and more primarily a very strong ego and a total engrossment with the material plane. When such problems exist, the affected twinflame may either not perceive the synchronicities or simply misinterpret them.
Leaving the other extreme cases aside and not dealing with the case of an existing partner as that would be a personal choice matter, I will deal mainly with what happens in terms of the Ego. When the bodily representation totally identifies itself with the Ego which is the distorted energy pattern of the etheric and spirit selves constructed by the bodily representation from badly decoded messages sent by the these two selves, the actual connection is not possible. Indeed, the stronger the Ego, the more the bodily representation identifies itself with the misconstrued representations of its etheric and spirit selves and is therefore misguided instead of being guided. In this way, this twinflame attempts to latch on to another soul that is not its twinflame and projects towards it all the communication derivatives from its distorted etheric and spirit selves. When the other soul receiving the information is also expressing within the same context, this distorted communication will continue and enhance instead of pacifying the sense of deep suffering felt by the twinflame.
A bodily representation that is misguided will live its mission of Love as a source of great suffering and because of the connection to the twinflame on the other levels, it will communicate this suffering to the other twinflame even if the bodily representation of the other twinflame has successfully established full connection with and integrated its etheric and spirit selves and has not yet established a communication channel with the bodily representation of its twinflame.
When the bodily representation is not identifying itself through the Ego or has successfully severed most ties with the Ego and properly established the connections with the etheric and spirit selves, there is a greater sense of Harmony and Peace that go through the bodily representation. A greater acceptance of all that is occurs and the body continues to evolve in a world of Peace, Love and Justice which it wishes both for itself and what it realises are all split projections of itself all over the world. Upon integrating the two other selves and constituting what can be called a Trinity, the twinflame thus integrated is able to pick up quicker on the synchronicities that come its way in order to identify appropriately and connect with the other twinflame. The problem in establishing this connection is that the open channel gives rise to a two-way communication which then opens the twinflame to all the suffering that may be experienced by the other twinflame if he/she has not fully integrated all selves and is not yet ready for the twinflame relationship.
As the open channel brings in the energy of the other twinflame, dark and deep distortions of the energy as experienced by the other twinflame can cause what will be considered as small deaths by the integrated twinflame as they absorb the energy distortions and help to “kill” the overpowering effect of the smaller ego manifestations sent by the twinflame. The annihilation of the manifestations of ego sent by the twinflame are felt as deaths because the receiving twinflame perceives fully the ego shards as being fully associated with the other twinflame and because of the open channel then temporarily identifies these ego manifestations or shards as being itself.
It is only when all the energy distortions stop that the proper communication can be made between both twinflames for the real work to commence. Usually, an integrated twinflame is able to identify clearly the other twinflame, except where there are remnants of ego within that are not too big to suppress the connection with the etheric and spirt selves but still too confusing to identify properly the twinflame.
When the twinflame is identified, the integrated twinflame normally knows that the full work has not been done on the self as the other twinflame is not close to recognising it although it has seen or felt some of the synchronicities. Thus, if deciding to open the channels of communication, the integrated twinflame knows that this is a sacrifice that can potentially bring it backwards in terms of all the work done for integration because of the energy distortions it will have to open itself to when opening the communication channel on the etheric level.
Some twinflames rightfully choose to keep the channel closed or partially open with protections within it to avoid the pain and suffering that come through it and the potential of having to do some of the work all over again in order not to lose the benefits of integration. However, protections also delay the communication and can make the integration of the other twinflame as slow as it was initially. Some twinflames knowingly open the communication channel and are then submerged by what is received from the other side and can temporarily lose the capacity of relating properly to their own etheric and spirit beings although they are still not able to establish proper communication with the other twinflame.
During the biggest opening of this communication channel to the other twinflame, the core of the heartpath, the communication channel is at its purest and the synchronicity becomes totally convergent whereby the manifestation of it in the material plane will be a total coincidence/singularity of time and art representation. However, the pain that is felt by the integrated twinflame is totally unbearable as they absorb fully in the spirit of the sacrifice all the fears, suffering and sadness of the twinflame leaving them fully burdened by these emotions and the twinflame temporarily with feelings of great peace and solace. This is therefore a risky matter and sometimes, if the integrated twinflame has kept remnants of ego and therefore fear, that integrated twinflame may be afraid that maintaining the opening of the communication channel is going to bring them too much hurt to bear or take them backwards and might decide to cut some of the contacts thereby making the channel a protected one. This then creates a setback as the confusion may return again to the other twinflame, more specifically as they have felt a great sensation of peace and solace and may then again misguidedly route its origins towards something that was simultaneously present in their material world at the time, confusing that with the etheric communication channel.
When all misconceptions are cleared and there is no other problem left to resolve, twinflames may meet and totally relate in the physical world too thereby completing their double Trinity fully and ridding themselves and each other of any smaller remnants of Ego. The physical encounter is also not devoid of its dangers as the day-to-day life can become cumbersome if the levels of Ego are at a higher level than that which would keep the twinflames together. All of this is communicated on a regular basis by the etheric and spirit selves to each of the twinflames and if they listen carefully and out of the reach of their individual egos, they are able to successfully establish a lasting twinflame connection and then start their proper mission of Love. I have no doubt that I will at least be able to achieve part of it despite all the pain and suffering and the carcasses strewn by misguided intent on the path towards it, I am filled in the deeper recesses of myself with the peace of knowing implicitly how beautiful it will be once the objective attained.
Transcendence is established by twinflames who are fully integrated and who are also able to get rid of their remaining shards of ego within the twinflame relationship and fully achieve that heartpath integration whereby they retain their individual characteristics within the bodily representations but are fully one on the etheric and spirit levels. Transcended twinflames live fully in True Love and their diffusion of the message of Love is received without distortion by all other twinflames who are continuing their integration as well as by other soulmates that continue to prepare in isolation other twinflames for their future and more important connections.
In some way, the balance between Death and Transcendence is very delicate for twinflames because of their greater connection to the communication channels of soul. Indeed, the spirit self which has little interest in worldly matters might diverge from the mission of Love and be attracted by the “Void” or the going back to the Source (the source of all creation) before the mission is accomplished thereby attracting both the etheric and bodily selves with it when integration has happened or is about to occur. The attraction to the void obviously represents itself within the material world by the actual death of the bodily representation of the Soul whether self-inflicted actively and directly or produced indirectly whether actively or passively by destructive patterns. Most of the time, the spirit self of the other twinflame keeps it from this straying by strong messages sent through the etheric and/or bodily representation of it even if the integration has not happened or the communication channel has not been fully opened between the twinflames. It happens on what one can call a “code red” basis of communication which then completely disregards the normal communication channel methods and processes devised by the Soul under guidance of the Source.
As for Death itself as we know it, it is a rather complicated matter which would require another set of thoughts and writings. Suffice to say that the premises of Death have been explained as the required event for a Soul to regenerate due to several items that deter it from its mission or because the mission was a punctual one and cannot be repeated and it is mainly due to this Time-constrained world as Soul has decided to manifest it. Other parts of Source have decided to manifest worlds that are not Time-constrained and in those worlds there is no notion of Time as we experience it and those worlds normally have no link with ours except on rare occasions.
Whatever your personal journey with Love, Death and Transcendence, we hope that you will find the above interesting and helpful for you and that somehow this will enable you to initiate your integration or move towards attempting it if you have not already done so. One interesting thing to mention is that when you are fully integrated, your healing capacities increase greatly and encompass other beings, not just yourself, so if you are on the beginning of your path, please do continue and don’t let elements of the grey existence deter you because it is truly a wonderful path to walk on.
Love and many blessings to all of you out there doing your work as you should be and I do hope that I will be able to attain Transcendence together with my twinflame within this lifetime as spirit has shown it to me.
Chapter Two: Old mama Nina and the Remnants of the Essence
30 September 2015
The gasp and clatter of the tray on the floor yank us out of the blissful and languid torpor that had overcome us with the energy surge from them as they too break loose, their breath short from the fusion.
An old lady is staring at us from next to a statue of what appears to be a very handsome man holding a tray and when I say us, I mean you and me. She is not looking through us as with the other beings but fully at us, seeming to even recognize us. Immediately after that moment of confusion caused from our fusion with the bodily frames my essence recollects her. She did not see us before though I think as you exchange with me the same thought through our essence. Nina! How wrinkled she looks now within her bodily frame although we both see the beauty of her essence, the small particle of our own essence which has remained with her.
“Something is missing” you say
“Harold” I whisper within your essence but she seems to pick up the exchange.
Yes, says Nina in a slow croaking voice. Harold is fully gone now but he was already gone when he was alive. He never believed in the bond you and I discussed, she says turning towards me.
“I’m so sorry Nina” I say within her mind and her essence.
It is alright, says Nina but we both feel through her remnant of essence which has already started fusing with us the deep pain that she is attempting to withhold from us. Her essence makes her understand that there is no point in pretending and she nods slowly. I know, she says, all the false pretenses are of no use any longer. I forget who you are sometimes.
You frown as you realise that they are staring at the old lady and wondering why she is talking to something in mid-air just next to the two of them. Both of them are staring, especially the man, with his mouth open at the lady who seems to be listening hard to something before she breaks into a smile as she moves towards them.
The man instinctively places himself in front of the woman shielding her with his body from what he seems to expect would be an attack from the demented old lady. The old lady merely pushes past him softly but firmly with her arms outstretched and gathers the young woman, totally exempt from resistance into her arms.
You must be Rita, says Nina softly cupping the woman’s face in her palms.
The young woman nods silently. She does not seem afraid nor even intimidated but seems to know this mad woman he thinks. He too feels a strange kinship with her although he is still aloof and on the lookout to make sure that no harm is done to his beloved Rita. He has just found her now in real life rather than in dreams and has every intention of keeping her in his reality rather than only dreaming of her like he did before.
You look so sweet, says Nina softly and your twinflame here seems to be a fine young man, very protective and all, so much like my Harold she cackles, the wrinkles on her face creasing to a point that not a feature is even distinguishable in it anymore.
His name is Martin, says Rita, Marty for friends. I know you from before, she continues, going all around the old woman as if trying to figure her out by the study of her small shrunken body.
The old woman, Nina, allows Rita to examine her before asking her mocking her affectionately, happy with what you see my darling. Am I good enough for the kinship?
Yes, I know you from before, repeats Rita stopping suddenly in front of Nina and clutching her shoulders. She stares right into her eyes and Martin who is right behind Rita, holding her by the shoulders feels more than he hears Nina’s response. The wave of energy going through them is brief but intense.
Yes, we all know each other from before, Nina says quietly and Rita, overcome by the energy surge which she had only yet experienced in her dreams or with Martin – albeit in a very different and sensualised manner – lets go of Nina’s shoulders as if they were red hot coals.
Martin increases his pressure on her shoulders as she sinks against him. The feeling of knowing him forever increases as she feels his warmth. They are both shaken but realise that something incredible is starting to unfold before them, something that they both knew would be happening when they had chosen the trip to this manor from the excursion list. House of Love it had said and, without knowing it, they had both chosen at the same time the same trip at the same tourism agency in different branches in completely different countries, say even continents. She had been in Asia while he had been in what had come to be known as the Greater Europe.
Rita slowly turns towards the place where there seemed to be something that Nina had been addressing. All her life she had felt that presence at times even seeing it fleetingly from the corner of her eyes before it had disappeared. Every time she had dreamt and experienced that energy surge or in her subsequent experience of it during the waking hours, it had always felt like the same presence, like some entity that had accompanied her all her life, from even before she had been born she felt. Beyond Time, beyond Matter, she reminisced.
I catch her gaze almost figuring me out, almost seeing me before she doubts her vision and it is clouded again. He too is straining his eyes but they both don’t see us although Nina clearly does. I know that it is a matter of the doubt that is clouding their partial essence and realise that we should have left with them more of our own essence so that they see clearer but we are not allowed to do that. They should be expanding their own essence so that they can then see and understand.
I turn back to Nina who seems lost in her thoughts as she gazes at them her eyes going from him to her, so close, so in love like she and Harold had been. She longs for his touch and his warmth and hugs her shoulders with her bony hands.
“When did Harold leave” I ask and instantly know it. I remember the time when our essence seemed to shimmer and amplify slightly and I had not noticed it much before thinking of it today. It must have been Harold joining us.
“Poor prosaic little Harold” you continue in my essence so that Nina won’t hear but she does and she looks at us pained. I feel the tremor from what subsists of Harold in us. I cast a warning gaze sideways towards you asking you to be more gentle, especially now that she can not only see us but also hear us beyond the ears as a part of her essence has already started fusing with us.
He might have been a slight chip for both of you but for me he was everything, he was my world, she says tears rolling down her face, her previous mirth forgotten.
“Forgive Kalen” I say frowning at you. “He has kept the teasing ways of some of the bodily forms we have passed through. Unfortunately at some points in Rita’s and Martin’s lives we have had to mingle with bodily forms that were not made for us but it was important to do it to preserve both of them while they were still too young to defend themselves.
It is alright, says Nina in a muffled sob. It was such a long time ago and you never returned after that day when you had introduced us so I am happy to see you all the same.
“We should have stayed” I say softly as I go up to her and wipe her tears away with the heat of my gaze.
She feels the energy surge and looks at me gratefully. It is alright, believe me, she says again more peacefully as my energy pervades her with its peaceful warmth. I feel the part of her essence in us flutter and thank our essence gracefully.
You did not know that he would doubt again, you could not have known he would run away, she says. I never thought that he would. We were so much in love. He was everything to me and I was everything to him, I know that. If there was one thing that I could be certain of, it was his love for me.
“I know Nina” you say softly. You are moved too as I am. We tend to forget that despite their bodily frames which lack so much of our flexibility and their limited senses they too are capable of such passionate love and incredible energy generation.
Oh it was not without difficulties, Nina says in an almost matter-of-fact fashion. We often argued, though we constantly sought the betterment of the other, it was not without hurdles. I always knew that we would help each other grow, I thought too that we would grow old together but alas life decided otherwise.
“When did he leave you before fully leaving” I ask though realizing from the stirring of both their partial essences within us that this has been a difficult experience for the bodily frames.
He left around a year after you left, says Nina, and left fully shortly after that.
“How did it happen” I say although I am already seeing through their essences how it happened. I realise that Nina needs to express it out aloud, get it off her chest with her own kind, tell them the real full story that she has never been able to tell anyone else because of the intricate details involving our existence.
Everything comes pouring out of her mouth: the months after the initial courtship with Harold after we had introduced them and how he kept doubting their existence, thinking that he must have been drunk or under the influence of some drug, how he kept arguing with Nina. Then the final fight with her when the energy surge between them had been very intense and she seemed to have floated out of her body temporarily. He had been surprised then paralysed with fear and left shortly after that night.
“He had never fully understood what you and I communicated to them about the essence and how it split before parts of it sank into Earth and was mingled into bodily frames it seems” I voice as you nod. “We should be more careful in communicating next time” I tell you and you agree.
“They are too precious these partial essences of us in bodily frames that we retrace” you say
“Yes, especially those who have begun remembering where they belong and who find their twinflame and are ready to spread the love and work of balance” I say
Yes, breaks in Nina. He was surely my twinflame but he kept trying to run away from it. He would shake his head saying that this must all be some LSD induced fantasy of his own mind. That night he had been so afraid of me, she carries on, and never came back. When he came back, several months later, it was only to find out that I was in the hospital ward, having lost our baby after the accident. He thought it was because of him and that I would never forgive him so he left and that same day he took his own life.
I understood now why Harold’s partial essence had seemed even smaller when he joined us. Some of it must have gone back to rebirth system within the moon. The part which had spurred him to take his own life as he thought his twinflame would never accept him again probably needed to be recycled and the rest had joined us in bliss.
I did not know, says Nina that my friends made him feel responsible for the accident. They told him that I had taken up drugs and drinking after he left because of the sadness of his departure but I had only tried to understand what he had been through. I wanted to know whether this could really obscure the channel and make us forget the bond but it did not. It just made it hazy and confused but I always remembered and understood what you taught me Kayla, she said turning towards me. I never was hooked on the drugs anyway as your essence left with me was too strong. She turns towards you and adds, you could have given him some of your own Kalen, he would have been so much stronger.
“It would not have really helped” you say softly. “Believe me I would have loved to help him but he needed to stop taking the drugs before. I did not want to tell him about the bond as I thought you would never accept him with his track record of drug abuse but you were so much in love instantly and Kayla was so convinced that your love would save him that I accepted her idea to introduce you to each other formally and give you the knowledge. We are more careful now” you add. “We test the bodily frames first within the dream world and if they react positively and want to reach out to the twinflame then we make the experience more lucid each time until they finally meet and are ready to start their life and work together”.
That is where Martin and Rita come in, says Nina, turning towards them again.
They both look at her and stare back again at the empty space which Nina seems to be talking to. I increase the connection and Rita gasps as she sees the outline I project again of my essence.
Martin, she gasps. Look, look at her, she is so beautiful. I can see her.
Martin looks but sees nothing so you increase your connection and as the quadruple channel opens up they see us both, vaguely outlined like some shimmering ghosts.
How beautiful you are, they both shout aloud.
Nina merely smiles at all of us. I am so tired, she says suddenly. Take me with you this time. I want to be with Harold again.
“What about the manor?” I say.
Oh, the House of Love has found its new owners I think, Nina says with a grin, her face taking on again that charming youthful appearance that she had so many human years ago and that had made us feel such energy surges for her.
We both look at her and are happy with her decision. We make her understand through the essence that it will be done the next day when she has arranged everything.
Stay tonight in the bedroom upstairs, Nina says turning towards Martin and Rita who are standing there still bewildered from the otherworldly exchanges that have been going on.
Yes, we will, says Rita. I always loved the idea of sleeping in the House of Love together with my greatest love.
Martin draws her closer still and smiles back at her sheepishly, his doubts gone again, his desire of her surging again, drawing all our essences closer towards them as both their essences start fusing again.
“We have a lot to do before tomorrow” I tell Nina through her essence
There are still things to do children, she says loudly, her assurance and dignified demeanour immediately making them halt and act like children reproached by their mother. They both hold hands and look coyly at each other and at their feet, eager to get close to each other again but desirous of not upsetting this sweet yet somewhat alarmingly firm and tough old lady.
They follow her obediently as she bustles out of the room and arranges for everything with a rapidity that any even very young and successful attorney would marvel at. By the next morning the manor known as “House of Love” is transferred to the names of Martin and Rita with the express request that they will always keep it intact, run it together and use only part of it for themselves while the other part remains dedicated to the showcasing of the love story between the writer Nina and her lover the rockstar Harold. Upon their feeble protests that perhaps other members of her family would want to have this beautiful Home she brushes them away merely stating that she has no children of her own and that both of them represent family to her in a way that her real-life family would never be and that one day they would understand what that meant.
The next evening, Martin, Rita and Nina, all dressed in their best clothes as requested by Nina undertake the formal ceremony she has instructed them to carry out for her while she lies on the sofa in front of them, kneeling. Martin and Rita are not sure what to expect as they slowly angle towards each other but their partial essences recognize the solemn celebration and take over. Slowly Martin and Rita kiss each other on the lips, the eyes, the nose, the cheeks, all in rotating motion, their minds devoid of the previous sensuous pleasure of their embrace. They start feeling the humming as the energy surges but not the same kind of sensual energy that they experienced before. Instead it is a warm and peaceful energy. As it increases, their bodies start to shake and they see each other’s forms blurring while the room seems to be vibrating around them, expanding and contracting with the expansion and contraction within their hearts.
I see them all, Rita shrieks with delight tears of joy streaming down her face as she looks from Nina to Kalen to Kayla and to the very slowly emerging shimmering outline of Harold whom she recognizes as Harold because of the absolute adoration she reads in Nina’s eyes.
Nina’s body lifts spasmodically twitching in the air for a few moments before it falls back on the sofa, visibly devoid of life.
Through the corner of her eyes as her lips are again locked on Martin’s Rita sees Nina’s shimmering outline right next to Harold. She feels the familiar giddiness take over again as slowly the four shimmering bodies start to disappear from her sight and only Martin’s face remains in front of her. He too is shimmering and simmering of love and sensual hunger as the energy surge changes colours filling with the hunger of the senses that are now raw within them as their essences fuse again and their bodily frames lock in ecstasy.
I know you from forever, she says
Yes, he answers. I love you since forever and will always do. I will never run away like Harold. We know now what it is to lose the other part of the essence. We have a greater family, something that will always remain with us, within us and that we shall never lose.
I love you, she says softly.
I know, he says, Beyond Doubt, beyond Hurt, beyond Death from which you brought me back, he adds kissing the corner of her mouth
Beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Void itself, she continues running her fingers across the smooth and precise shape of his jawline and over the stub on his chin.
“They will be alright” Nina says softly her essence warped into Harold’s who is shimmering back at her.
I watch them fuse again, while you smile at me and I warp into you so that we may leave the House. The couple on the sofa barely notice the shimmering lights leaving the living room as they continue kissing passionately while we orb out into the skies. I feel their energy surges throughout our journey despite the light years that have started to separate us now while we flow through the tunnel.
“There is hope as long as there is such intense love and as long as people are willing to fight for it” I say and you smile back at me.
“We are together again partly” says Nina.
“So many more other fragments to collect though” says Harold. “I wish I had stayed longer, Nina, and helped you bring together more people with our joint artistic efforts”
“It is alright” she says. “We were only partial, we did not have the knowledge of our elders here who are more complete” she adds pointing towards our essences. “Kalen and Kayla stayed with source and had the knowledge that we did not have. We were only babies as far as the depth of knowledge is concerned”
We all laugh, revelling in the warmth of our togetherness as we continue moving towards the source which awaits us, flowing towards us with the love we carry towards it
“I love you” I say
“I know” you answer “B..”
I silence your essence by fusing into you further. We are at no Time, no Matter. We have reached zero point again in the realms where our essence surges flowing the love back to Source, deepening the connections with that tiny blue dot, light eons away.
Chapter One: Love beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Creation itself
29 September 2015
I write you in the darkness, I write you in the light
I write through the day, I write through the night
I write you when it’s wrong, I write you when it’s right
I write in the wilderness and my wrong writes my right
I write you within the clay, I write you within the sight
I write all doubt long, I write to end your plight
I write you with Love strong, I write for your delight
She read the lines almost absent-mindedly, her fingers running along their curving letters engraved in the stone above the doorway that led into the House. Lost in the thoughts this provoked she turned looking at him wondering if she should ask him the questions that crossed her mind but thought the better of it as she had just met him.
He was reading the lines too but feeling her gaze on him, he turned to face her, saw the perplexed look and understood what she was about to ask but thought it better to wait for her to ask it. He did not want to brusque her for they had just met although he had known her from so long before, he could not even remember when it was he had first met her. It all was so confused like in some dream that he himself would not have dreamt but just heard of. It was all cloaked in the thick mystery that lies between dreams and reality, between the known and the unknown. He followed her as she turned slowly towards the door again and proceeded to enter the House.
I watch them both as they entered, so self-conscious and careful not to touch or even graze each other’s bodies despite what had been occurring on so many occasions before and that they too felt clearly.
I grin at you as you shake your head warning me not to push them too far. They are still confused from this longing and knowledge they have within them of the body of the other, of the unmistakable essence of the other.
My eyes glaze as I look at you, remembering the heat of our exchanges and the electricity that ran through their bodily frames as they felt us plummet and soar within them, winding and unwinding as our essences clung together feverishly whipping their senses to maximum alert and leaving them panting and bewildered.
“I love you” I say
“I know… Beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Void itself” you respond, your eyes all colours of the rainbow playing with the darkness of the night and the glory of the sun that intermittently emit their intensity within those colours.
I warp into you so we may move easily together again into the House following them. Their steps are hesitant but straightforward and aligned. They seem to know where they are going and they both seem to be going in the same direction.
I smile at the thought of that alignment and look at you. “We did well when choosing them” I say and you nod yes smiling back at me “They are the perfect blend of Mind and Heart” you say.
She walks slowly, hoping he will catch up with her and bump into her as she hears his strong stride behind her carrying him forward seemingly faster than her but he and she don’t collide. Little does she know that every time he is about to catch up with her he walks sideways so as not to disturb her, in a curious motion making it seem as though he is circling her in a curious dancing pattern. All of a sudden he gets it as I feel you prod him and he bumps into her immediately apologising as she loses balance and he catches her stopping her fall. She feels his intention and sinks against him as he holds her softly, her back against his chest. I feel your simmering mirth as we both feel the heat shoot up in their bodily frames soaring out to us following behind.
I love you, she says
I know, he says, Beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Void itself, he continues.
She looks at him and their eyes are colours of the rainbow playing with the darkness of the night and the glory of the sun that intermittently emit their intensity within those colours.
I feel peace in your presence, he says, his eyes all at once intense and quiet and she does not respond, merely turns around to face him, her eyes equally quiet and intense and she runs her fingers across the smooth and precise shape of his jawline and over the stub on his chin. They seem to be lost in their own world and we feel their ache.
“Do you feel how they have evolved?” you ask. “Do you understand through their love our own? Can you begin to describe what is unfolding here?” you carry on, your voice slightly teasing within my essence
“How can I describe it, this Love? It is impossible to describe what can only be felt in the Soul’s Heart.” I whisper in your essence. “In a body, it would be that glittering moment of overflowing love felt within a heart filled to the brim with that feeling and the sense of the soul finding its own peace in the reflection of the peace facing it within a twin soul.”
“We were bodiless, massless, timeless. Our Love was not born into existence, it just was, like creation just was” you answer.
“We did not birthe from anything or anyone. We just came into being and this Love was so Earthly that Earth itself took of her mass to build our bodily essence.” I whisper back
“It was also so divine that the skies contributed their clouds and searing tears of rain to bond the flesh together and then model these two shining human beings that were experiencing our love through their bodily frames” you answer back, your eyes the colour of rain on a winter day.
She turned her back to him again, feeling the familiar giddiness overcome her again as the ache grows stronger and we too are submerged by the electricity they generate. The faint sparks of the beginning of their recognition have turned into powerful energy surges that make even us helpless in front of the magnitude of their implicit energy exchanges as we are no longer able to contain them but simply drift within them letting them take command of our essences as we enjoy the ride.
The Bedouins speak about a great love, of Kaiss and Laila, a love inscribed in folly with the couple being known as Layla and her madman, she says her voice rising a pitch as she reaches the last word.
His pressure on her shoulder increases as he feels the bubbling confession reaching her lips
But I, she continues turning towards him again, her face flushed and aflame with the excitement of her own findings I revel in the fact that your love removed both sanity and insanity. The mind itself had no existence of its own.
I look at you while you voice softly: “Mind by Heart touched and Heart by Mind enlightened”
“Both Mind and Heart fusing together to form the only thing that both Heart and Mind could understand without truly seeing it: The Essence of Love”, I continue with my essence drawing you closer into us.
Your face came and then went, she says
“With the ebb and flow of time”, you voice
..between reality and dreams’ illusion and I, she carries on
“I, architect of illusion, drew on the strength of our two minds, our two hearts cast as one to”, I voice in her mind and through our essence
sketch your face, leave it etched in Time, permanent, remanent burnt in my retina, the glory of you, the beauty of you, the wonder of you as I feel all these, she continues breathless
“entities that represent you”, you whisper
butterflies fluttering in my Heart, she finishes, her tone now almost pleading.
Ask me he says, his voice hoarse with the longing for her warmth against him.
Do you think we know each other from before? she asks. Do you believe that one could meet someone for the first time and know with certainty that they have always known that person, that they have been together every minute of their entire lives without fully realising it?
Our Love was not born into existence, it just was, like creation just was, he answers. We can only have always been together. I know you from a long time before today, he whispers as he holds her shoulders and draws her back against his chest his nostrils flaring, breathing in her essence, breathing me as his longing deepens. I know you from before Time, he says, his senses gorged with her presence.
Yes…yes, she says turning towards him again, the familiar feeling of giddiness and exhilaration overtaking her senses, from before Time surely, she continues her lips pressed against his, reaching you with her longing.
As their kiss prolongs, I feel our essence drift into them again. We have learnt not to fight it when the energy surge overcomes us and we just bask in the warmth of the flames of it.
“I think I am going to take a back seat now with her” I say as I lie back my essence overcome by the power of her desire
“I am not sure” comes your answer hashed by the cuts in data transmission caused by the energy surges. “They seem to have a tendency to drift into seas of doubt. Perhaps we should continue observing them until they reach us” you say
“And of course the energy surges and electricity they transmit is not the reason you want to leave our usual posting and come out to guide them” I answer teasingly grinning.
“Of course not” you grin back at me. “I am beyond this sensory stuff” you add wickedly “Spirits are not into the realm of senses”.
We both laugh before slowly drifting within the web of energy they create as their lips lock and their bodies melt into each other fusing all of us again to our very core.