Chapter Two: Old mama Nina and the Remnants of the Essence
30 September 2015
The gasp and clatter of the tray on the floor yank us out of the blissful and languid torpor that had overcome us with the energy surge from them as they too break loose, their breath short from the fusion.
An old lady is staring at us from next to a statue of what appears to be a very handsome man holding a tray and when I say us, I mean you and me. She is not looking through us as with the other beings but fully at us, seeming to even recognize us. Immediately after that moment of confusion caused from our fusion with the bodily frames my essence recollects her. She did not see us before though I think as you exchange with me the same thought through our essence. Nina! How wrinkled she looks now within her bodily frame although we both see the beauty of her essence, the small particle of our own essence which has remained with her.
“Something is missing” you say
“Harold” I whisper within your essence but she seems to pick up the exchange.
Yes, says Nina in a slow croaking voice. Harold is fully gone now but he was already gone when he was alive. He never believed in the bond you and I discussed, she says turning towards me.
“I’m so sorry Nina” I say within her mind and her essence.
It is alright, says Nina but we both feel through her remnant of essence which has already started fusing with us the deep pain that she is attempting to withhold from us. Her essence makes her understand that there is no point in pretending and she nods slowly. I know, she says, all the false pretenses are of no use any longer. I forget who you are sometimes.
You frown as you realise that they are staring at the old lady and wondering why she is talking to something in mid-air just next to the two of them. Both of them are staring, especially the man, with his mouth open at the lady who seems to be listening hard to something before she breaks into a smile as she moves towards them.
The man instinctively places himself in front of the woman shielding her with his body from what he seems to expect would be an attack from the demented old lady. The old lady merely pushes past him softly but firmly with her arms outstretched and gathers the young woman, totally exempt from resistance into her arms.
You must be Rita, says Nina softly cupping the woman’s face in her palms.
The young woman nods silently. She does not seem afraid nor even intimidated but seems to know this mad woman he thinks. He too feels a strange kinship with her although he is still aloof and on the lookout to make sure that no harm is done to his beloved Rita. He has just found her now in real life rather than in dreams and has every intention of keeping her in his reality rather than only dreaming of her like he did before.
You look so sweet, says Nina softly and your twinflame here seems to be a fine young man, very protective and all, so much like my Harold she cackles, the wrinkles on her face creasing to a point that not a feature is even distinguishable in it anymore.
His name is Martin, says Rita, Marty for friends. I know you from before, she continues, going all around the old woman as if trying to figure her out by the study of her small shrunken body.
The old woman, Nina, allows Rita to examine her before asking her mocking her affectionately, happy with what you see my darling. Am I good enough for the kinship?
Yes, I know you from before, repeats Rita stopping suddenly in front of Nina and clutching her shoulders. She stares right into her eyes and Martin who is right behind Rita, holding her by the shoulders feels more than he hears Nina’s response. The wave of energy going through them is brief but intense.
Yes, we all know each other from before, Nina says quietly and Rita, overcome by the energy surge which she had only yet experienced in her dreams or with Martin – albeit in a very different and sensualised manner – lets go of Nina’s shoulders as if they were red hot coals.
Martin increases his pressure on her shoulders as she sinks against him. The feeling of knowing him forever increases as she feels his warmth. They are both shaken but realise that something incredible is starting to unfold before them, something that they both knew would be happening when they had chosen the trip to this manor from the excursion list. House of Love it had said and, without knowing it, they had both chosen at the same time the same trip at the same tourism agency in different branches in completely different countries, say even continents. She had been in Asia while he had been in what had come to be known as the Greater Europe.
Rita slowly turns towards the place where there seemed to be something that Nina had been addressing. All her life she had felt that presence at times even seeing it fleetingly from the corner of her eyes before it had disappeared. Every time she had dreamt and experienced that energy surge or in her subsequent experience of it during the waking hours, it had always felt like the same presence, like some entity that had accompanied her all her life, from even before she had been born she felt. Beyond Time, beyond Matter, she reminisced.
I catch her gaze almost figuring me out, almost seeing me before she doubts her vision and it is clouded again. He too is straining his eyes but they both don’t see us although Nina clearly does. I know that it is a matter of the doubt that is clouding their partial essence and realise that we should have left with them more of our own essence so that they see clearer but we are not allowed to do that. They should be expanding their own essence so that they can then see and understand.
I turn back to Nina who seems lost in her thoughts as she gazes at them her eyes going from him to her, so close, so in love like she and Harold had been. She longs for his touch and his warmth and hugs her shoulders with her bony hands.
“When did Harold leave” I ask and instantly know it. I remember the time when our essence seemed to shimmer and amplify slightly and I had not noticed it much before thinking of it today. It must have been Harold joining us.
“Poor prosaic little Harold” you continue in my essence so that Nina won’t hear but she does and she looks at us pained. I feel the tremor from what subsists of Harold in us. I cast a warning gaze sideways towards you asking you to be more gentle, especially now that she can not only see us but also hear us beyond the ears as a part of her essence has already started fusing with us.
He might have been a slight chip for both of you but for me he was everything, he was my world, she says tears rolling down her face, her previous mirth forgotten.
“Forgive Kalen” I say frowning at you. “He has kept the teasing ways of some of the bodily forms we have passed through. Unfortunately at some points in Rita’s and Martin’s lives we have had to mingle with bodily forms that were not made for us but it was important to do it to preserve both of them while they were still too young to defend themselves.
It is alright, says Nina in a muffled sob. It was such a long time ago and you never returned after that day when you had introduced us so I am happy to see you all the same.
“We should have stayed” I say softly as I go up to her and wipe her tears away with the heat of my gaze.
She feels the energy surge and looks at me gratefully. It is alright, believe me, she says again more peacefully as my energy pervades her with its peaceful warmth. I feel the part of her essence in us flutter and thank our essence gracefully.
You did not know that he would doubt again, you could not have known he would run away, she says. I never thought that he would. We were so much in love. He was everything to me and I was everything to him, I know that. If there was one thing that I could be certain of, it was his love for me.
“I know Nina” you say softly. You are moved too as I am. We tend to forget that despite their bodily frames which lack so much of our flexibility and their limited senses they too are capable of such passionate love and incredible energy generation.
Oh it was not without difficulties, Nina says in an almost matter-of-fact fashion. We often argued, though we constantly sought the betterment of the other, it was not without hurdles. I always knew that we would help each other grow, I thought too that we would grow old together but alas life decided otherwise.
“When did he leave you before fully leaving” I ask though realizing from the stirring of both their partial essences within us that this has been a difficult experience for the bodily frames.
He left around a year after you left, says Nina, and left fully shortly after that.
“How did it happen” I say although I am already seeing through their essences how it happened. I realise that Nina needs to express it out aloud, get it off her chest with her own kind, tell them the real full story that she has never been able to tell anyone else because of the intricate details involving our existence.
Everything comes pouring out of her mouth: the months after the initial courtship with Harold after we had introduced them and how he kept doubting their existence, thinking that he must have been drunk or under the influence of some drug, how he kept arguing with Nina. Then the final fight with her when the energy surge between them had been very intense and she seemed to have floated out of her body temporarily. He had been surprised then paralysed with fear and left shortly after that night.
“He had never fully understood what you and I communicated to them about the essence and how it split before parts of it sank into Earth and was mingled into bodily frames it seems” I voice as you nod. “We should be more careful in communicating next time” I tell you and you agree.
“They are too precious these partial essences of us in bodily frames that we retrace” you say
“Yes, especially those who have begun remembering where they belong and who find their twinflame and are ready to spread the love and work of balance” I say
Yes, breaks in Nina. He was surely my twinflame but he kept trying to run away from it. He would shake his head saying that this must all be some LSD induced fantasy of his own mind. That night he had been so afraid of me, she carries on, and never came back. When he came back, several months later, it was only to find out that I was in the hospital ward, having lost our baby after the accident. He thought it was because of him and that I would never forgive him so he left and that same day he took his own life.
I understood now why Harold’s partial essence had seemed even smaller when he joined us. Some of it must have gone back to rebirth system within the moon. The part which had spurred him to take his own life as he thought his twinflame would never accept him again probably needed to be recycled and the rest had joined us in bliss.
I did not know, says Nina that my friends made him feel responsible for the accident. They told him that I had taken up drugs and drinking after he left because of the sadness of his departure but I had only tried to understand what he had been through. I wanted to know whether this could really obscure the channel and make us forget the bond but it did not. It just made it hazy and confused but I always remembered and understood what you taught me Kayla, she said turning towards me. I never was hooked on the drugs anyway as your essence left with me was too strong. She turns towards you and adds, you could have given him some of your own Kalen, he would have been so much stronger.
“It would not have really helped” you say softly. “Believe me I would have loved to help him but he needed to stop taking the drugs before. I did not want to tell him about the bond as I thought you would never accept him with his track record of drug abuse but you were so much in love instantly and Kayla was so convinced that your love would save him that I accepted her idea to introduce you to each other formally and give you the knowledge. We are more careful now” you add. “We test the bodily frames first within the dream world and if they react positively and want to reach out to the twinflame then we make the experience more lucid each time until they finally meet and are ready to start their life and work together”.
That is where Martin and Rita come in, says Nina, turning towards them again.
They both look at her and stare back again at the empty space which Nina seems to be talking to. I increase the connection and Rita gasps as she sees the outline I project again of my essence.
Martin, she gasps. Look, look at her, she is so beautiful. I can see her.
Martin looks but sees nothing so you increase your connection and as the quadruple channel opens up they see us both, vaguely outlined like some shimmering ghosts.
How beautiful you are, they both shout aloud.
Nina merely smiles at all of us. I am so tired, she says suddenly. Take me with you this time. I want to be with Harold again.
“What about the manor?” I say.
Oh, the House of Love has found its new owners I think, Nina says with a grin, her face taking on again that charming youthful appearance that she had so many human years ago and that had made us feel such energy surges for her.
We both look at her and are happy with her decision. We make her understand through the essence that it will be done the next day when she has arranged everything.
Stay tonight in the bedroom upstairs, Nina says turning towards Martin and Rita who are standing there still bewildered from the otherworldly exchanges that have been going on.
Yes, we will, says Rita. I always loved the idea of sleeping in the House of Love together with my greatest love.
Martin draws her closer still and smiles back at her sheepishly, his doubts gone again, his desire of her surging again, drawing all our essences closer towards them as both their essences start fusing again.
“We have a lot to do before tomorrow” I tell Nina through her essence
There are still things to do children, she says loudly, her assurance and dignified demeanour immediately making them halt and act like children reproached by their mother. They both hold hands and look coyly at each other and at their feet, eager to get close to each other again but desirous of not upsetting this sweet yet somewhat alarmingly firm and tough old lady.
They follow her obediently as she bustles out of the room and arranges for everything with a rapidity that any even very young and successful attorney would marvel at. By the next morning the manor known as “House of Love” is transferred to the names of Martin and Rita with the express request that they will always keep it intact, run it together and use only part of it for themselves while the other part remains dedicated to the showcasing of the love story between the writer Nina and her lover the rockstar Harold. Upon their feeble protests that perhaps other members of her family would want to have this beautiful Home she brushes them away merely stating that she has no children of her own and that both of them represent family to her in a way that her real-life family would never be and that one day they would understand what that meant.
The next evening, Martin, Rita and Nina, all dressed in their best clothes as requested by Nina undertake the formal ceremony she has instructed them to carry out for her while she lies on the sofa in front of them, kneeling. Martin and Rita are not sure what to expect as they slowly angle towards each other but their partial essences recognize the solemn celebration and take over. Slowly Martin and Rita kiss each other on the lips, the eyes, the nose, the cheeks, all in rotating motion, their minds devoid of the previous sensuous pleasure of their embrace. They start feeling the humming as the energy surges but not the same kind of sensual energy that they experienced before. Instead it is a warm and peaceful energy. As it increases, their bodies start to shake and they see each other’s forms blurring while the room seems to be vibrating around them, expanding and contracting with the expansion and contraction within their hearts.
I see them all, Rita shrieks with delight tears of joy streaming down her face as she looks from Nina to Kalen to Kayla and to the very slowly emerging shimmering outline of Harold whom she recognizes as Harold because of the absolute adoration she reads in Nina’s eyes.
Nina’s body lifts spasmodically twitching in the air for a few moments before it falls back on the sofa, visibly devoid of life.
Through the corner of her eyes as her lips are again locked on Martin’s Rita sees Nina’s shimmering outline right next to Harold. She feels the familiar giddiness take over again as slowly the four shimmering bodies start to disappear from her sight and only Martin’s face remains in front of her. He too is shimmering and simmering of love and sensual hunger as the energy surge changes colours filling with the hunger of the senses that are now raw within them as their essences fuse again and their bodily frames lock in ecstasy.
I know you from forever, she says
Yes, he answers. I love you since forever and will always do. I will never run away like Harold. We know now what it is to lose the other part of the essence. We have a greater family, something that will always remain with us, within us and that we shall never lose.
I love you, she says softly.
I know, he says, Beyond Doubt, beyond Hurt, beyond Death from which you brought me back, he adds kissing the corner of her mouth
Beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Void itself, she continues running her fingers across the smooth and precise shape of his jawline and over the stub on his chin.
“They will be alright” Nina says softly her essence warped into Harold’s who is shimmering back at her.
I watch them fuse again, while you smile at me and I warp into you so that we may leave the House. The couple on the sofa barely notice the shimmering lights leaving the living room as they continue kissing passionately while we orb out into the skies. I feel their energy surges throughout our journey despite the light years that have started to separate us now while we flow through the tunnel.
“There is hope as long as there is such intense love and as long as people are willing to fight for it” I say and you smile back at me.
“We are together again partly” says Nina.
“So many more other fragments to collect though” says Harold. “I wish I had stayed longer, Nina, and helped you bring together more people with our joint artistic efforts”
“It is alright” she says. “We were only partial, we did not have the knowledge of our elders here who are more complete” she adds pointing towards our essences. “Kalen and Kayla stayed with source and had the knowledge that we did not have. We were only babies as far as the depth of knowledge is concerned”
We all laugh, revelling in the warmth of our togetherness as we continue moving towards the source which awaits us, flowing towards us with the love we carry towards it
“I love you” I say
“I know” you answer “B..”
I silence your essence by fusing into you further. We are at no Time, no Matter. We have reached zero point again in the realms where our essence surges flowing the love back to Source, deepening the connections with that tiny blue dot, light eons away.