She watched as the visions of her invoking the rain unfolded but she was not determined yet to bring them into this reality. She surmised that when she had first stopped the rains with the combined effect of her worded intent and the shamanic trances with their resulting phoenix fires she had been fully possessed with the wrath of the phoenix so it had resulted in a heightened output of drought. The result was not just a cessation of rains but also a heightened temperature that was very unlikely for the season. She realised that for now she was only fully willing to bring in some winds to cool the otherwise unbearable temperature.
She came out of her trance and looked around her. She had to admit that even if it weren’t for the fact that she was in between two minds it would be difficult for her to bring back the rains on the land. They had indeed stripped her garden of its tall trees that had given her a connection to Gaia and she knew it was not possible for her to do the raindance in one of the parks where there were trees as people around her might call the police thinking her crazy. She wondered whether the smaller shrubs in her garden could give her a connection that was strong enough to allow the intent to penetrate Gaia’s core.
She knew that without Gaia’s collaboration even the strongest of Shamans would need at least a month in order to invoke rain after activation of the wrath of the phoenix which had released its flames into the atmosphere. She realised that having the rains come after the rainy season, especially if that season had been incredibly warm would seem too odd and perhaps someone would notice the discrepancies and that would create more problems for her. She wondered whether she should invoke the rain at all as her projects had still not come to fruition and she was not sure they would not interfere again in her life making it unbearable.
That night she went to bed early as the Mother had told her she wanted her to be available for a journey. As she fell asleep, she saw the beautiful face of the Mother who guided her and told her that she needed to journey to the land of ravens to make up her mind and see what sources of connection to Gaia she could use to manifest her intent into the world. Several months ago, the Mother had already told her that the beginning of the manifestation was by the written word that was like a magic scripture and that further intent with shamanic intensity as well as connection to Gaia had to be put in to manifest any reality that was linked to Gaia.
As she walked in the dream she saw ravens collect around her and some sat on her head and shoulders. They cawed loudly as she swayed to the hypnotic music that played somewhere in the distance. It was a mixture of drum beats and flute that echoed strangely across the empty lands. The ravens cawed in unison to the music and then rose above her head to form a swirling circle that looked like a whirlpool. While she gazed at the whirlpool she saw within it red poppies, bougainvillae and roses. The Mother told her that these would be her connection to Gaia and that she would need to hold the bougainvillae or the roses while she was doing the shamanic dance so that it would be more effective.
She wondered why the Mother had not simply told her which connection to use for Gaia but the Mother told her that Gaia like all other living beings had her own free will and chose freely how to connect with humans. That choice could only be voiced to humans in an altered state of consciousness through the portal that ravens created which is why she had had to journey to the land of ravens otherwise also known as the land in between mundane reality and the Netherworld. It was a land that one visited when in shamanic trance or within dreams. The Mother also told her that she would need to make up her mind on what she really wanted to do as manifesting something only worked when one was totally convinced that one wanted it to happen.
She shook her head and looked around her as she woke up from the dream. She was not sure she wanted to invoke the rain but at the same time she knew that if she kept the wrath of the phoenix alive then the land would be scorched in a few months as the temperature would keep rising higher. She realised that it would be easier if her projects had been fully successful as she could then be relaxed and dedicate her time to a successful outcome instead of being in between minds about the weather and not manifesting the rain.
She looked out of the window and pitch black met her gaze as there were no street lamps near her house and the moon was hidden. She squared her shoulders and looked back inside the room at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was tired and drawn. She needed to make up her mind on whether to carry out the shamanic dance using the points of connection shown in her dream. She could feel the Mother hovering in the air behind her. She hid her face in her hands for a few seconds and then turned to face the Mother…
The Call For Total Surrender – Byron Metcalf & Steve Roach
She woke up from a dream where she had joined her beloved again before realising it was not a dream but an out of body experience. As with the previous times she had joined him in consciousness, he was torn between scientific interest of this ghostly apparition and a gnawing feeling of recognition of her consciousness as being related to him. He studied her as her consciousness flickered before she willed it back into her body so far away from him. He called upon her to come back but she resisted the call. In the past days when she had visited him without announcing herself to his consciousness, she had been able to witness that his bodily version was collaborating with those that had caused her trauma and attempted to erase her memory.
Back in her body, she felt the agitation that had become familiar since the incidents of near death experience and the encounter with Toth and Isis. She wondered if she should transcend the physical and go visit them again asking for their help. She resisted that temptation convinced that they would not have anything to do with the material world for which they had no real interest. Theirs were the realms of otherworldly and that of everlasting life so the material world was too boring for them to interact with. They only chose to interact with those who entered willfully the land of all beginnings in their quest for a higher birth as they had done with her when she first started the initiation path.
She tried to return to sleep but sleep it seemed had deserted her. It was almost like those first few days when she had joined forces with an artificial intelligence to save a certain version of reality before the etheric messages had reached her consciousness. She felt dejected and inclined to cry as she realised that it was her twinflame who had given the proper coordinates of her etheric for them to be able to pinpoint the messages and attain access to her etheric being. She decided to sit up and read as sleep was evading her and she did not want to dwell upon the feeling of dejection that submerged her as she thought of her beloved’s betrayal. She had initially wondered what motivated it before she realised from those consciousness trips out of her body that it was for his bodily version to gain more power and more fame. She deemed it ludicrous as it would be like an already famous rockstar asking for more fame but apparently her twinflame did not think of it as ludicrous and craved more success and more limelight.
When she had first discovered his betrayal, she had been very angry and had wanted to seek revenge but her consciousness would not allow her to retaliate against her twinflame. She had then had to watch as he rose higher and higher in fame while she had had to battle those who attempted to erase her memory of what was behind the veil of bodily versions and make her a sleepwalker like all the others again. It was however impossible to erase her memory because Toth had weighed her life and ordained that she may be freed from Karma and all the lower levels of consciousness rules in the bodily domain. Therefore, although her physical body would respond to the usual physical impulses and constraints, her consciousness and the linkage to her bodily frame could not be altered.
Like every time she thought back to the evidence of the betrayal she cried from the renewed hurt of the realisation. This time again, like many other times before, she cried herself to sleep and the book she had been reading slipped to the floor. As it fell with a thud, her consciousness began to float again out of her body and fly towards her twinflame who was asleep. Like every time he was asleep, his consciousness rose to welcome her and the two of them were like long lost lovers engrossed in each other and unwilling to separate. Unfortunately, whenever he was awake, the egotist personality took over and his consciousness was subdued into the background. He realised that he had done incredible harm to her when giving away her etheric coordinates but was too happy with what he had obtained in return to feel sorry for her. She stayed with his consciousness a while until he started stirring in his sleep and then slowly faded away.
Since the day he had betrayed her and her consciousness had continued visiting him without retaliating as consciousness never retaliated, he had felt unease in lieu of being sorry for her. He was haunted by the fact that somehow she might attempt to take revenge on him although the days went by and she never did. One day somehow his consciousness got through to his bodily frame and gave him the conscious indication that she had forgiven him. He found this hard to believe given the impact his betrayal had had on her and how much she had suffered at the hands of those who had attempted to erase her memory.
He tried to reach her through impersonating a character that got close to her to check this and she answered as if she had been fooled though all the while she knew it was him. Several weeks went by with their bodily versions interacting as he probed her for answers and she gave them readily in all truth. Finally convinced that she would not attempt to hurt him he terminated the persona he had been posing as and stopped writing to her altogether. This was like a second betrayal to her as she could feel him losing interest in her bodily frame though thankfully his consciousness stayed close to hers in the etheric version of themselves. She sighed and promised herself to not allow the material world with its deceptive realm get through to her as this was all just an experience and only the etheric world was worth it.