Only the question
mattered more than the answer
Twined cause and effect
A probe into grey matter
Symptom of the quest
Pillars of queries
Symbols of the need to know
A trace of lives lived
Myriads of half-truths
Sign of the times etched in blood
Picking up the clues
Omen of a time gone by
Skies high in bosom
She survived inquests
Her mind a token of light
A flag flying high
Reading of the poem:
Strings of a Bard (acoustic) - Estas Tonne (2021)
Written in the context of Ronovan writes weekly haiku challenge using the words question and sign or their synonyms. More on the rules and other poets’ contribution here https://ronovanwrites.com/2021/08/23/ronovan-writes-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-372-question-and-sign/
The Frost Chronicles 6: The secret world of the Marid part 4
7 May 2020
The Marid seemed to sense her presence shortly after she had sunk into the ground and turned to scrutinize her. They did not seem hostile but neither did they seem friendly nor happy that she was there among them. Some of them were whispering to each other and pointing towards her. Others were looking back and forth at her and at her half-father. They seemed to be making some connection. Her half-father rose from his throne laying the scepter aside and made his way through the half circle to where she was.
You should not be here, he said in her mind
I needed to see you, she answered
This is not the right time. I will come to you later or tomorrow
I need your help now
I am sure this can wait. I sense what you need to ask of me and this can wait. I have an important meeting now.
I will go then but I am not sure how to get out of here. It seemed very natural to sink into the ground but now I feel stuck and cannot rise out of here.
In a flash she felt herself lifted and the Marid had transported her back into her flat. She had not even felt the resistance of the ground nor did it even seem that time had gone by when she had been lifted into the outside. At the same time the part of her that was high in the skies reintegrated her as if she were a bubble. It made her think of soap bubbles sticking to each other and then forming another larger bubble. Without a further word, the Marid left her and returned to his meeting.
The Frost Chronicles 5: The secret world of the Marid part 3
22 March 2020
With the second Marid now disappeared she had sat to think about potential new items that she could trade in this world for some money. The first item that crossed her mind was a device which, when secured at the bottom of where the pineal gland would fall upon at the base of the skull – if it had been able to fall, would cause the person to experience lucid dreaming or attain a high depending upon what their mindset was at the time of wearing it. She realized that this device would probably be too difficult to create on her own as it would have neuropulsers which was something that had not been discovered yet and that transmitted pulses into the brain from outside the skull. It would be developed in the future to activate and/or stabilize zones of the mind that were either not working or working erratically but as with all things scientific, a second usage would be attempted to escape reality.
She then thought that she should probably move to something which was not scientific but rather cultural or fashion based. She could see in her mind’s eye women wearing clothes made of plastic which had been conditioned so that it was almost as soft as silk on the skin. Again, however, she could not see what material had been used to condition the plastic for it to turn into a silk-like material so she realized that this too would be something she would have to forego. She then thought to herself that surely if she was able to see the end result, she should be able to see the transformation. She focused on the process of transforming plastic into a silk-like material and realized that this involved using amongst other items large amounts of balsamic vinegar and some hydrochloric acid. She thought that this was indeed a funny process and delved within her mind to discover the other items required.
After she had made a list of the items, she realized that it would be so much easier for her to ask for the exact processes from the Marid. She realized that the second Marid, her would-be father, was probably the best to ask about these matters. She had not, however, invoked him so she did not know his special name to call upon him unlike the first Marid. She knew, however, that she should be able to visit the world of the Marid as she was half Marid herself. She went within into the silent consciousness mode and thought of the Marid world as he had mentioned it to her and she could instantly feel herself splitting into it. It was as if she was disappearing into the ground while at the same time flying away in the skies. Present, past and future were but just one space that she was floating in. She could see from the skies only one woman and one man. It was as if all the male components on Earth had summed up to just one man and all the female components into one woman.
The part of her that sunk into the ground could see a gathering of Marids. They were just like a haze of clouds trapped under the Earth. It was very warm down in the Earth and not cold as she had expected given the cold air above the Earth. The Marid seemed to be having a reunion of some sort and were gathered in a half circle. At the top of the semi-circular pattern, a bit separated from the rest of the haze around her, her would-be half father was seated holding a golden scepter…
Gurdjieff – Oriental Suite – [N4,N5 Metropole Orchestra]
Alternate Realities – Chapter Six : The path of the Goddess
10 June 2019
She held out her hand and the dragons came closer, sniffing carefully at her hands before they huddled closer around her and rubbed their cheeks and foreheads against her palms. Their skin had not developed the hard scales yet and it felt smooth and silky. She was fascinated by how sweet and loving they seemed. Not at all the scary beasts that stories would have them be. Perhaps this was a feature of being in their infancy.
– How long does it take for a dragon to mature, she asked
– It depends
– How can it depend ?
– It depends if it is a real dragon or an imaginary replica
– What do you mean an imaginary replica ?
– Some of these dragons were born in the way that they usually are, through the interaction between a God and a human. Some of them are not born, they are imagined based on either the memory of that interaction or the vision of the interaction to come
– How can humans and Gods have a physical relationship ?
– It only happens in this Universe and is only possible with human beings
– How are the others imagined ? How do they actually get life out of imagination
– Well in this universe a lot is based on what is perceived. Not much really exists out of the sphere of the human imagination. Everything is merely energy. It is the perception of how that energy evolves that makes it evolve into various concrete forms. When a human woman remembers or foresees an interaction with a God, her womb accumulates the energy of a planned birth but as the spark is not transferred into her, the energy does not materialise into an actual dragon but is just an imaginary replica.
– You said they were neither flesh nor spirit but a combination of both. What does that mean ?
– They are not made with an actual sperm, unlike when the interaction is between humans but are made with the spark that is transferred by the God into the woman. That spark then evolves into a dragon in the womb of the woman
– Does it not kill her when it comes out of her ? She was thinking back to the various alien movies
– It does not, because it just dematerialises out of her womb and rematerialises outside. As I said, they are a combination of flesh and spirit and can be either one or the other depending upon the circumstances.
– Can all women be impregnated by Gods ?
– Not all. Only some and not all are able to give birth to dragons. Some just give forth immaterial beings because they are not able to imagine the dragon into the world.
– This is quite confusing. I never thought it would be like this. Why were some of the dragons cuddling up to me.
– That is because you are their mother
– What ? Her head was spinning again like when she had first realised who he was.
– You are their mother, he repeated softly
– With whom ?
– I think you already know that by now
– It can’t be. I thought it was all part of my imagination
– It is
– I’m so sorry.
– It does not matter
– How can we use them in the battle then ?
– They get their power from their father and it helps provide the energy required to counter the Gods of the dark and their armies. When you house the Mother, it will all become clear.
– House the Mother? What do you mean ?
– I think you know that too. You must remember that you have already housed her before
– Housed her ? When ?
– Not so long ago. Unfortunately it did not work out exactly as planned and it is just as well as the children of the world in between were not ready yet.
She vaguely remembered the great light that had come like a torch of fire and gone into her eyes. It had seemed like a bird of flames and she had not been able to run away or close her eyes. That light had penetrated her through the eyes and had filled her being. She looked back at him
– Yes, he said before she voiced her question
– That was the Mother ? Why did she leave then ?
– Well there was a lot of meddling that happened. Instead of her being manifested into you naturally, there were some people who tried to accelerate the process, spoiling it
– Too many cooks…, she said wryly.
– If they had not meddled with the process the integration would have been complete. Unfortunately they wanted to control the process apparently to ensure they could use it to their benefit I imagine.
– But how can I house her now ? Should she not be within the body of a young and physically fit woman ?
– That is not what is most important. Besides, once the Mother dwells within you and the integration is complete you will be transformed
– Why me ?
– The Mother does not choose mere beauty. She can create it out of nothing, even in this world if she were to wish so. She wanted someone who would not follow religious dogma but would be a seeker of spirituality. Someone who had just enough balance between the right brain and the left brain to be able to keep their imagination alive while being well versed in mathematics and with an interest in science. A woman with courage, endurance and balance. Someone whose skin she would feel comfortable in, a lover of art and the spoken word.
– I do love words, she said with a smile
– Do you know that words, spoken in a certain way and with the right intention allow the manifestation of thoughts ? The ancient people of this world knew that and were able to create things through the use of carefully selected words
– You mean magic spells ?
– Yes, if you wish to call it that. It is merely the manifestation of focused intention.
– How do you know someone meddled with the process of the integration, she asked, curious about that episode that had seemed so hazy now.
– The Mother and I are not absolutely sure if they wanted to accelerate the process or stall it. What we know is that they gave you a drug a few days before the Mother was about to transfer a part of her consciousness into you. That drug interfered with your chemical balance and made the transfer of the Mother into you unstable. If it had not been for that, the integration would have been complete.
– Why does the Mother need to integrate with me.
– She needs to be within this world to transform it from the inside out. That is the best way to conquer it back. If she comes as the Mother, she will not be able to interact with all human beings alike. She needs a human envelope to enable that interaction. She does not come here to be worshipped but to change the state of things in this world, beginning with the condition of women.
– Why women ?
– Simply because they nurture and when their lives are better, there will be less fear in the world. As you know, a world without fear is a world that will belong to us again. Then humanity can enter the Golden Age.
She looked at Horus and looked back at the dragons. She wondered how they would be contributing their energy. Would they know about their father ? Would they not want to fight alongside him instead of with the Mother, Horus and her ?
– Dragons are more loyal to their mother than to their father, he said. He seemed to be reading her mind again
– How do you know that ?
– I know that because the ones we had together chose you over me
– The ones we had together ? Her head was reeling now
– I know this is all a lot to digest but when Settesh realised that the dragons birthed would not follow him, he stopped making them with you. The Mother knew we needed more dragons so asked me to make more with you.
– And I did not have a say in all of this of course, she said slightly bitterly
– It is done now. It had to be done. You barely realised the difference
She looked again at the dragons and felt something strange between fascination, motherly pride and love. They looked so cute, she could not believe that they would become huge and powerful beyond her wildest dreams. Horus was now communicating silently to her that soon the mother would be back and she must be ready for her. The children must also evolve so they could play their part. All she had to do was think of them evolving, perceive it happening and it would happen. She looked back at the dragons and imagined them growing. The more she imagined, the more she felt they were actually growing.
Alternate Realities – Chapter Five : The World in between
21 April 2019
Horus looked at her surprised face and asked “Did you not know I would come to guide you?”
No, she answered. I thought it was an angelic guide
There are angels too but their mission is else. They are responsible for managing the overarching system of the multiverse. The gods that I belong to are responsible only for this universe. We do not manage what is happening in other universes
So each universe has its own gods?
Do you find that surprising? – he laughed throatily. In just one world you have managed to have so many gods. It should not surprise you that there are many more in the other universes of the multiverse.
How do the gods manage not to fight over universes?
Well they actually do fight.
They seem to be very humane gods. If there is one thing that makes them similar to humans it would be the desire for additional conquests then.
We are not the source. The source does not need to fight. It owns all, it is all.
Do you fight with other gods?
I had to a very long time ago and I might have to again. You will help me fight. You and the children of the world in between.
Yes, neither human, nor gods, neither flesh nor spirit but a combination of both, capable of living in both worlds and changing as the circumstances require.
Where are they now? Are they ready to fight for you?
They are not ready yet. It will take time for that. I need to get you ready first. That is why I had come to guide you.
She was a bit puzzled at all of this. What had this got to do with getting rid of her fears and moving into higher realms? If this was what the higher realms were made of then she was not sure that she wanted any of it. She had a hard time already trying to reconcile the fact that humans only thought of getting more for themselves and were ready to slaughter each other for that, if the gods too were like that, she was not sure she wanted to be involved with them at all.
It is not the same thing. We do not fight pettily. Some of us are gods of the light and others gods of the dark. In the beginning the source created us equal and gave each group of us a world to manage but some gods wanted to have more worlds than the one they were assigned. They were mainly the gods of the dark. They wanted darkness to be spread all over the universe so we had to fight them as they were pitilessly slaughtering the beings under their care.
Why did the source not intervene?
The source is convinced that balance will prevail, automatically. You have to understand that for the source, all that you are going through, all the lifetimes of the humans and the beings on the other worlds are like a tiny speck of dust in comparison to its existence. The source will wait and will not intervene and that wait could be billions of years for humans and the other beings so we have to fight.
Who are we meant to fight? How do you fight gods?
There is one god who started this and who gathered all the other gods of the dark under his command. He is called Settesh. If we overcome Settesh, then all the other gods of the dark will cease their hostilities and relinquish the worlds they conquered to their rightful owners.
Is the Earth conquered
Yes, it is one of those worlds that was conquered.
Who did it originally belong to?
It belonged to me and my parents. Settesh killed my father and partly took over this world. When I was ready to fight him my mother taught me the ways but it was only half a victory and we were never able to shake his hold of this world.
How could he have partly conquered it. I don’t understand.
It is conquered by fear. As long as humans vibrate to the energy of fear, it will remain under his control. From time to time there is a large manifestation of love and that is when his grip becomes weak but as long as there are humans who fear, this world will never be fully ours and humans will never enter the Golden Age of their history.
She realised that what he was saying made sense. It had always seemed to her that fear had a debilitating effect on humans and she understood why he had been so insistent that she get rid of the fear before the ascension to the land of all beginnings. She had let the fear control her and her ascension had been a difficult experience. She understood now why the Mother had not been more welcoming. Burdened by fear she was more a tool of Settesh than a warrior of the light. The Mother and Toth had still weighed her deeds and given her the token so surely they thought she would still be helpful to them. She vowed to her self that she would start meditating more and concentrating on the light so that she could fill herself with it and merge with the sensation of universal love she felt when meditating.
Let us go, he said
I am ready but where are we going?
To the world in between. It is a continuum of the land of all beginnings so your token will help you get there.
She energised her heart and crown chakras before vibrating her heart to activate the token. The walls dilated and contracted before disappearing altogether. She felt the motion of a joyride as her consciousness slid into the other world. It was like falling endlessly through a well except that she had to steer herself to avoid being sucked into the holes on the sides which lead to nothingness. Horus on the other hand did not need to slide, he simply dematerialised and materialised from one world to another. He halted her consciousness and she slid through a small opening in the spiral. They had reached the world in between and he explained that the children were waiting for them. She steadied herself to get rid of the swaying feeling and looked around. There were at least hundred of them gathered around and slowly moving towards them. She let out a gasp of surprise. These were not any children. They were dragons!
She felt him return. It was imperceptible at first but then growingly clear that he had come back. Her mind went back to the preliminary stages of the initiation. The being that had taken her on the path to the land of all beginnings was back again. She wondered whether he was there to castigate her for she had not listened closely to all his teachings when she had ventured on the path. He had told her that it was primordial to lose all fear before she started but she had not fully realised what he had meant then. The split that had occurred between her etheric and bodily selves had been extremely painful and instead of being an experience full of light, it had been overshadowed with fears and had lead to an uneven ascension.
She turned towards where she knew he stood looking at her and voiced her regret. He answered her back in her mind that there was no point in regretting now. She had gone through the needle’s eye but had not fully gone through the purge of the flames and until she did that devoid of fears, she would not be born into the light properly. Her higher birth had been hindered by the fear and she was therefore only partially born again into the etheric. Although she would maintain the contact with the land of all beginnings, she needed a token and would not be able to freely interact with it until she had completed her rebirth.
A phoenix is reborn through the flames and not just by undergoing the impression of flames, he said
I do not know if I am ready, she answered
When your mind is devoid of fear, you can take the path again. Your deeds will no longer be weighed but you will undergo other tests for your rebirth, the first of which is the preliminary birth through the flames
Aren’t the flames enough ?
The flames are just the beginning, the shedding of your mortal self and birth into the eternal realms
Will my bodily frame disappear completely ?
But my dear, you have no body. It is all a concept of your mind and the more you attach yourself to that perception, the more mortal you become
Are you saying that we could become immortal ?
You are already immortal but you do not realise it. That lack of realisation of your immortal selves is what makes you age, die and come here again as another bodily self but it is always you. Until you realise that you are immortal, you will keep coming here
So what happens when we realise that we are immortal
Well, you either stop coming here because it no longer interests you or if you have built relationships with beings here that you care for then you come back as guides that hardly age and do not die but transcend when the density of this world becomes too much for them to bear
What should I do then
Start from the beginning again. Focus on clearing yourself from the fears and then we will start the path again. You should have started meditating properly like I advised you to before initiating the path
I am meditating now. Will that change things ?
Yes, you will be able to see beyond your fears, the true nature of things
She realised he was showing her parts of him and she wondered whether it was her imagination or whether he really looked like that. She took in the majestic demeanour, the perfectly shaped torso and the strange birdlike face. It all looked very familiar and then suddenly the realisation hit her. She ran to her laptop and googled what was on her mind and there he stood, much like the being in front of her, except that the picture was an exaggerated version of his physical traits. It was him, the one that had been on her mind all the while before this being had made its entrance into her life : Horus !
She looked around her. Everything looked exactly the same as the other days but she knew that she had shifted again. Nothing else than the small difference usually identified the shift but here it was much more marked. Many events in this reality were different from how she remembered them. After the first discrepancy she had searched the internet and identified several other discrepancies. She was convinced by then that this time she must have jumped several parallel universes to land in this one.
The first time it had happened she had brushed it away on the account that her memory must be failing her but when it had happened again and another of her friends remembered the same event in a different way than how it was supposed to have unfolded she had then been convinced that she had somehow jumped into an alternate reality. Since then, every time she identified a discrepancy she knew that she was in an alternate version of her reality where only slight changes had taken place.
Slowly but surely she had become able to identify the very small differences in her own life that then confirmed the fact that she was in a parallel reality. Something inside her knew with certainty that it was not a physical leap as much as it was a consciousness switch. It was as if her consciousness which had vibrated at a different level the day before had then syntonised with a new level of perception and therefore blended into a new reality. Everything around remained the same but for a few changes and while she first identified this by major different events, her confirmation always came from the small differences in her own life.
She thought back to the first time it had happened and realised that it was following an intense session of meditation that had involved kundalini activation. The awakening of the kundalini had put her consciousness in a completely altered state and she had felt vibrations go through her whole body. The next day when she had awoken something had seemed strange and she had then discovered the first discrepancy during the day. After that, every day of intense meditation had been followed by a day of shift into an alternate reality.
She realised over the weeks that she was now moving into a reality that was so far removed from the original reality that very few things remained the same as they were perhaps meant to be. She looked at the photographs of herself and her friends and sometimes she could not remember the details of the moment photographed. When she searched hard enough though she eventually found the details but it was as if she was searching in another person’s memories and not her own. She had realised that consciousness was so designed as to allow one to access streams of it even if those streams belonged to someone else and defined their memories.
During one of the incursions into the consciousness streams, she had come to realise that she could use the energy of the kundalini activation to direct her shift into a reality that she would be more comfortable with. After a few trials, she was starting to get the gist of how to make it happen. She realised that it required a concentrated effort of mental projection into the altered reality the day before the shift and immediately after the kundalini meditation. The only thing that was a bit disappointing for now was that she was not able to move into a substantially different reality all at once but it had to happen gradually.
The first time she had tried she had been quite ambitious and tried to project herself into a reality where flying cars were an ordinary thing but that had not happened. Instead there were just a few advances in the field and some drones as well as a couple of prototypes that were functional but nothing at the large scale she had hoped for. Over the weeks she had gotten used to the fact that things could not change drastically but only gradually. She had however kept her ambitious plans in mind although in a different way and she was now aiming for a world without illnesses and free of poverty. She concentrated shortly after the meditation and imagined how such a world would be. Her mind filled with mental images of such a world. She smiled at the thought of it and closed her eyes. Tomorrow would be the first day of the new shift.
She looked out of the window at a blue sky full of fluffy clouds. Ironically the clouds reminded her of how the memories of him were slowly fading. She had known him once with utmost certainty but now she was not sure anymore. She thought back to their first encounter. Not the one she remembered consciously but the one that had been at the back of her mind when they had met fleetingly on the small strip before the beach. When she had glanced at him then and her eyes had met his she had known deep in her heart that it was him but the thought had been so preposterous that she had had to brush it aside, grit her teeth and walk on. She had then seen him go into a sports car that was parked on that strip.
For years the memory had haunted her. The thought that she had walked beside the love of her life and not had the courage to take a chance and speak to him had weighed her down for years. Then he had reappeared in her life. First in a ghost-like form with no words said but for the evanescent image of him. Then with increasing precision in the form to which was added a telepathic communication. She wondered whether he was aware at all of this or if she was the only one seeing and hearing him. His spirit-like presence then became a daily routine in her life but left her with the ache of not having him around in flesh and blood.
She turned back from the window and glanced around the room which was submerged in pale light coming from the one window that was open. The room reeked of wasted memories and unshed tears. She wished she could turn back time and go back to that moment to see if she could change the course of fate but she knew it was not possible here and now. It reassured her to think that there was a version out there in the Multiverse where she had taken that risk and was perhaps growing old with the love of her life. He whispered in her head that he would come to her Time and Time again when the elements were favourable. It reassured her even more to think that maybe serendipity would put them both on the same path again. In Time. She smiled a wane smile before the tears finally welled in her eyes. Someday…Somewhere…In Time…