And she looked on, ruling over the lives that went fast
A cycle and she’ll renew them, so firm she stood, Bast
26 September 2010
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9 lives to go, 9 lives take the paddle and row
And I’ve always wanted, I’ve always dreamt
Of how I’d spend them, lives others spent
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Woodcutter, in splinters cut me some wood
You cut like none cutting makes you rejoice
Cut not the life of this wee red writhing hood
Alas the axe covered this oh too frail voice
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8 lives to go 8 lives to reap not sow
And I’ve always wanted, I’ve always dreamt
Of how I’d spend them, lives others spent
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Caretaker partaker caretake me a little dime
Hound not that little mermaid frail and elfish
Caretake me don’t forsake this nursery rhyme
It is all I have left and yet you take it so selfish
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7 lives to go 7 lives to care and grow
And I’ve always wanted, I’ve always dreamt
Of how I’d spend them, lives others spent
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Teacher the slate was written take a sponge
Wipe and write again your own sweet words
Teacher the blackboard’s empty go on plunge
Thy witness the chalk, the moon and the birds
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6 lives to go 6 lives to tell and show
And I’ve always wanted, I’ve always dreamt
Of how I’d spend them, lives others spent
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Uncle the damsels sleep so well and strong
This wine you poured and drank so gleeful
Uncle I knew not the tune but sang along
The night was young, the shadows truthful
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5 lives to go 5 lives one buried in snow
And I’ve always wanted, I’ve always dreamt
Of how I’d spend them, lives others spent
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Husband your mind spins and spirals down
Love-hate and torture is all in this ye shop
In your cavern no light no jewel of the crown
On it goes a frenzied dance none can stop
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4 lives to go 4 lives to burn and throw
And I’ve always wanted, I’ve always dreamt
Of how I’d spend them, lives others spent
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Husband friend you were there to smile practice
The wayward ways of friends turned lovers
You lost your way and every way was malice
Time revealed your dark soul under the covers
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3 lives to go 3 lives to see and know
And I’ve always wanted, I’ve always dreamt
Of how I’d spend them, lives others spent
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Lover, love me a spot love me as you glide
On that high wave of your golden superb
Lover, it’s down here not cloaked in thy pride
In your empty chest this voice will reverb
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2 lives to go 2 lives to scatter and blow
And I’ve always wanted, I’ve always dreamt
Of how I’d spend them, lives others spent
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Sorrow you come again you visit so often
Your seeds overturned blown you must return
Your pace is slow but your step strong hasten
Get it over with for this mind will still churn
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1 life to go 1 life to save I lie low
1 life to go, 1 life I’ll save there’s no more
1 life to go 1 life to save I lie low
1 life to go, 1 life I’ll save there’s no more
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And I’ve always wanted and though I dreamt
This life I’ll live now, this life unbent
And I’ve always wanted and though I dreamt
This life I’ll live now, this life unbent
And I’ve always wanted and though I dreamt
This life I’ll live now, this life unbent
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Reading of my poem on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd9x3b-COlg
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Hi there, really enjoyed reading this.
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Hi and thank you 🙂
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This is quite amazing. I ended up at this poem trying to click on the Pantoum and glad I did. The counting down and rhythm of the stanzas builds up a powerful momentum, yet contrasted with its lullaby cadence. The ending is twist bringing a message of determination and acceptance of what is real. Which is what is also dreamt?
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Thank you. I guess one finally has to accept the reality. I lived a quite happy childhood and young adulthood though it was sprinkled with abuse and my parents were cleueless about it all. My married life had a lot of ups and downs as well. In time I have exorcised most of it as it has been a recurring theme in my writings. I don’t regret any of it though for it has allowed me to relate to abused women and children and reach out to them often in the right way. This life I live now is truly mine. I don’t allow society or even friends to attempt to smother me and make me conform to their ways. It is a tough road but the only one i will stay along
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It is indeed a tough road, just as it tough to be at peace with the trials, tribulations, and trauma one endures and find the “silver linings.” I am glad you have made it through the rough storms with your determination and soul intact.
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Thank you, I am glad too 🙂 Oten we are first under the belief we are unbreakable when we go through the traumas and survive. It is only after some more work on ourselves that we come back to a sense of integration and peace. Thank you for your deep and caring nature
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In the youtube read version I actually used a lullaby music and a child’s cooing at the end to signify my true birth back in 2010
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I listened to it and I forgot to mention how it changed, as a wonderful reading usually does, the impact of the work. You did an excellent job in the reading, and mixing in the other audio with overpowering the reading itself. I tried a little while ago a reading of another’s poem for a post and just from that experience I know just how difficult it is to achieve what you did.
And what a wonderful way to signify your true birth. Inspirational.
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Thank you so much. I enjoy reading aloud poems but have only taken the liberty of posting my own to avoid legal issues with copyrights and the likes. I used to be a voluntary reader of stories for children and elderly in Geneva
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Actually reading your own poetry has an immensely therapeutic effect. I freed myself from a lot of hatred against my ex husband just by reading the French poem I wrote Tri after he took away my kids. Ultimately my father-in-law testified against his son and I got them back (illegally the year after and finally legally two years after) but it was a horribly painful year for all four of us. Poetry is the best means of exorcising I feel, as compared to other art forms. Perhaps music and dancing are equally potent
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Disappearance
Daydream and vanish as vapor
Lit on sunset or as sprawl on the shore
It’s time to die, effugit tremor
Once upon a time true love, ineffable Amor
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Beautiful Laure, thanks for sharing. Tempus fugit sed non moritur
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