Vois impérissable senteur des blancs Lys / See the lasting scent of the white lilies

Vois impérissable senteur des blancs Lys

18 janvier 2016

fleur CaroleBailly-Maître deviantart com (2)
Courtesy Carole Bailly-Maître on deviantart.com

Le temps immuable saisons en solstice

Les saisons de cœur chanson pour muets

Etreindre douleurs diapasons fluets

Mots inabordables fermés les calices

 

Las impénétrables de roches interstices

Les raisons de peur refrains pour muer

Impatientes couleurs les tempêtes huer

Vois impérissable senteur des blancs Lys

 

Raisons dérisions le temps des débats

Le flanc exposé nombreux les vautours

Amours confusions piétinés abats

 

Passé composé le temps des détours

Humour perfusions le cœur qu’on abat

Silence imposé s’en va trois petits tours

 

fleur nicky08 centerblog net 3
Courtesy nicky08 on centerblog.net

 

Poem translated into a Sonnet in English (Italian sonnet version rhyme pattern could not be kept) trying to keep some of the same meanings and attempting to maintain somewhat a rhyme pattern

 

 

See the lasting scent of the white lilies

January 18, 2016

flower Sidero 75 deviantart com (2)
Courtesy sidero75 on deviantart.com

The time unchangeable seasons solstices

Seasons of the heart, song for the dumbstruck

Embracing the pains slender tuning forks

Words unaffordable closed chalices

 

Tired impenetrable of rock the interstices

The reasons of fear, refrains for change

Impatient colors the storms derange

See the lasting scent of the white lilies

 

Reasons derision debates interval

The exposed flank many the vultures

Loves confusion trampled offal

 

Past perfect compounded time of detours

Humor infusions the heart being felled

Imposed silence leaves on three little tours

 

fleur nicky08 centerblog net 2
Courtesy nicky08 on centerblog.net

It is as always very difficult to translate poetry from French into English. I shall just take an example to showcase this which is not due merely to the words but also to the different cultural references. For example the last words of the poem “s’en va trois petits tours” which illustrates well this difficulty in translating some French poems into English:

 

Trois petits tours alludes to the children’s song, the equivalent of nursery rhymes in English, “Trois petits tours et puis s’en va” which somehow brings to mind a pattern of something coming to play along and then leaving for some other playgrounds elsewhere before coming back again.
At the same time there is an implicit reference to three towers that could be three choices that would lock the poet but we don’t know what is the nature of each tower, whether it could be an ivory tower of isolation or a tower of loss of independence, the tower of a lover, the tower of a tyrant etc. I let you imagine different outcomes as the case may be with your own personal experience 🙂

 

A very big thank you to Globalinfo4all (https://globalinfo4all.wordpress.com/) who sent me the reference of this fantastic composer Yuhki Kuramoto that just ignited the writing of this poem. My poems are always based on personal experiences but these are somehow dormant inside until a spark ignites them, such as the one today from my friend G4all. Note: I wish people would put clearly their name in their gravatar (available under public display name for your gravatar). You can name your wordpress website whatever you want but it would be really nice if you actually went to your gravatar and put a proper public display name that we could refer to you by (and I mean this for all people who have those mysterious or totally unreadable or “unmouthable” names). We poets and writers love to relate so if you want to remain anonymous, please at least put a fake name that we can call you by 🙂

 

 

 

Romance – Yuhki Kuramoto

Second romance – Yuhki Kuramoto

Memory of Love – Yuhki Kuramoto

Nostalgia – Yuhki Kuramoto

Meditation – Yuhki Kuramoto

17 thoughts on “Vois impérissable senteur des blancs Lys / See the lasting scent of the white lilies

  1. This is gorgeous, Geetha and I really appreciate the post poem information on translating issues. I enjoyed reading the French but not having come from a French background, my translation is fairly rudimentary. As always, it is a delight to see your mind at work 😀

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  2. very nice n beautyful poem like ur white lily.first pic is like white fairy.u said her dt do’nt worry about vultre .u have written in italian n french language bt i can under stand some more of its deeping.lily like alone dancing in white dress seems a ballerina.have ur country so much cute lilies. changing season is not main reason of her fearness coz spring comes after autum.perhaps its fragrance r memorable n symbol of love n peacful solicity.very good poem in which lilies r seemd as personification of all girls.

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    • Ah ah ah Sakthi, you were always nice and I love your daily quotes and images. The comment was not targeting you specifically but addressed to so many out there who don’t even put a name we can relate to on their blogs. It is difficult to speak intimately with and relate to someone appropriately when you don’t have a name to call the person by. Thank you so much for putting a name we can call you by and no trouble at all, just enjoying getting to know new friends online in this blogosphere. Be well my friend 🙂

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  3. Simply beautiful and I’m glad you translated that otherwise I’d be screwed😆 I love the French language and wanted to take it in high school but didnt😐 You’re amazing Geetha💋

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    • Ah ah ah Lisa, you’re so funny. I have not got around to reading yet all what people have written in the past day or so but am looking forward to it. I am glad you are happy about the translation, I am trying to do it systematically when I can now. You can still learn french, for someone who writes poetry from the heart, it is a beautiful and special language to write in because of the intricacies you can play with and all the double, triple and even quadruple meanings you can pack into its flow. Thank you so much for reading and appreciating. I really value it 🙂 xoxo

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      • Am I? That’s ok. That’s awesome and keep doing it. Gimme more, gimme, gimme… Yeah I could👌🏼For sure! It’s my pleasure. Thank you for responding. I appreciate your feedback and reading what I write😘 Thank you so much Geeth❌⭕️❌⭕️

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  4. I love both poems Geetha! You seem like a mother of twins right now 😉
    The lush imagery permeates every line and I love how you bring shades of culture with each version. I completely understand your comments on translating. Once the brain thinks in more than one language, it also thinks in more than one culture.

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    • Thank you so much Dajena. It’s very true this is the feeling I am getting because I don’t want readers to miss out on the beauty of the French language which has so much to reveal and which can be so well concealed. I am glad you understand about the translation problem and it is true that all cultures get intertwined. Thank you so much for your beautiful comments that I always look forward to sweet Dajena. I saw you wrote a poem and must read it properly again although I quickly read it in my email. I have to rush and fetch my daughter from school but will be back to read it better and answer everyone today if I get the time to do so 🙂 😉

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        • Thank you. She has so much homework to do and a life of her own so I cannot enjoy as much time with her as I used to but such is parenting that we are behind all the time for a while, a little less for another while and there comes a time when we must gradually move to the shadows while other people take the limelight in the lives of our children. There is this beautiful poem by Gibran Khalil Gibran on children full of thoughts/principles which I love and adhere by and which I shared more than once whether on facebook or here in my blog. You probably know it but I will put it here all the same (the version I liked most which was really beautiful has been removed from youtube but there are others nice enough)

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